The 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics have arrived one ring short and with their own version of Nikki Webster.
Most opening ceremonies will have a couple of stuff ups. The coordination required to put one of these things together is astonishing. In Sochi, however, the stuff up was super cringe worthy. As the rings were unfurling from a glowing snowflake, the fifth ring (who we’ve heard is a stubborn asshole) decided he didn’t feel like turning up.
Needless to say, Putin was not very happy about it.
The five rings represent the five major regions of the world. So, if the opening ceremony is anything to go by, one of those regions isn’t turning up.
In a reminder that Russia loves the gay and lesbian community, the pre-show included a song by Queen, faux-lesbian t.A.T.u holding hands and singing surrounded by volunteers in rainbow-coloured uniforms. Apparently they’re taking a chip from the old Soviet Union block and devised a devilish plan that if we see something like that then we’ll forget about the government crackdown on human rights.
Not so much. Hey, worth a shot right?
Taking a page from Sydney’s book (because we were totally the first ones to hook a young girl up on wires and throw her around a stadium), Sochi had their own little girl to inject some ‘aww’ into the show. Liza Temnikova did exactly what you’d expect an 11-year-old girl to do for an opening ceremony and made everyone think “gosh, isn’t she special”.
Let’s just hope she doesn’t go the way of Nikki Webster by releasing something as ear shattering as Strawberry Kisses and ending up in Ralph.
Photo: via Getty
Via SMH
