The Law siblings, card carrying Asian-Australians with a lifetime of guilt from which to draw on – writer/author Benjamin and writer/screenwriter Michelle – have teamed up to guide us through the inscrutable world of demanding Asian matriarchs and the borderline psychotic things they say to their children in a collaborative new book titled Shit Asian Mothers Say.
Acting as the ultimate cheat sheet to the authoritative approach to parenting lovingly detailed in their book (prone to exaggeration, fed by guilt), the literary siblings have generously provided us with The Asian Mother’s Ten Commandments, which you can read in full below.
The Asian Mother’s Ten Commandments, which thou dare not forget.
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
2. Thou shalt not talk back.
3. Thou shalt take off thou shoes to keep thine floors clean.
4. Honour thy father and mother – mainly mother.
5. Thou shalt not kill (me).
6. Thou shalt not sleepover.
7. Thou shalt marry nice Asian partner and bear sons.
8. Thou shalt have bob haircuts.
9. Thou shalt not badmouth others … to their face.
10.Thou shalt not covet, except maybe your cousin’s career; he is doing very well for himself; you could be more like him.
Shit Asian Mothers Say by Benjamin Law and Michelle Law and illustrated by Oslo Davis is out now in print and ebook.
