Things don’t always look like how they do in the picture. Sometimes you order a hamburger that appears like it’s going to be a towering stack of the finest ingredients and instead you receive a homogenous blob of warm beige garbage. Sometimes you commission a statue of what you think will be a divine tableau of sublime religious charity and you get, well, this:
Pictured: Oh no. Ohhh no. No. Nooo. (Source: Instagram / @ShitAdelaide)
The statue (intended to depict St Martin de Porres miraculously giving miracle bread to a grateful child) was identified to staff at Adelaide‘s Blackfriars Priory School after kids began taking “inappropriate” photos of the statue on Friday, according to The Advertiser.
In a statement on Facebook, the school said that they didn’t realise it was suggestive until they saw it in three dimensions. I am not kidding:
The statue was sculptured in Vietnam by the same sculptor who created the St Dominic statue on the front lawn of our School. The sculpture is a famous depiction of the tireless work of St Martin de Porres, a Dominican brother, for the poor and downtrodden of the 16th Century.
The two-dimensional concept plans for the statue were viewed and approved by the Executive Team in May but upon arrival the three-dimensional statue was deemed by the Executive to be potentially suggestive. As a consequence, the statue was immediately covered and a local sculptor has been commissioned to re-design it.
Apparently, unlike from every other angle, if you look at it dead on and from a perfectly level height, it doesn’t look like a monk proffering his penis to a child?
As stated in their release, they immediately took steps to prevent the statue from being seen by innocent eyes, by covering it with a big sack:
Pictured: Some sort of Ringwraith or Dementor. (Source: Supplied)
Better luck with the next one, I guess.
