The Shovel Just Dragged The Federal Government By Posting Nothing But Facts & We Laugh, We Cry

The Shovel

The Shovel is back at it again with their roasting of the Australian Government’s incompetence, but their latest tweets, which read like satire, are actually just facts – and if that doesn’t show what a sorry fucking state Aussie politics is in, I don’t know what does.

ICYMI: Senator Ben Small, who just keeps doing dumb shit, read aloud a bunch of tweets liked by ABC journalists on Twitter (don’t ask), including this gem:

The Shovel also made it onto the dramatic reading list, and now that they know the government is reading their tweets, they decided they would provide some handy data. Except, the data in question is not nearly as funny as I was expecting.

Their initial tweet sounds like the start of the usual shenanigans associated with the satirical account… except shit got real very quickly.

They start off with the fact that the percentage of aged care workers that are vaccinated is less than the percentage of federal government ministers that have launched defamation proceedings this year… which I wish was surprising, but honestly these fuckwits never cease to disappoint.

The Shovel goes on to list a bunch of other fucked up facts about what our government has been up to, and I honestly am not sure if I should laugh, curl into a ball and cry, or start a riot. (So far, I’m thinking riot).

The Australian Government, everyone – more dedicated to frivolous Twitter activities than investigating alleged rape.

I will never get over the fact that Harvey Norman was just casually allowed to pocked $22 million of JobKeeper payments for no reason, when ordinary people were chased to the point of distress over the Robodebt debacle. Tell me how our welfare payments are actually below the poverty line, but a giant corporation can cop millions of taxpayer dollars? Make it make sense.


We know what a truly terrible job these politicians have been doing, but to have such horrid, icky facts thrown back at us is… a lot.

Thank you, The Shovel, for enlightening us I guess? Brb while I curl into the foetal position and cry.