Here’s some good news for what has otherwise been an absolute disaster of a day: ‘The Australian‘ is using its platform to once again – just like #avogate – shit all over millennials for not being exactly the same as the generations that precede them. Wait, that’s actually terrible news. Fuck.

As is their wont, the folks at the Oz are furious that people younger than 30 exist, and they are expressing that the only way they know how (by publishing an endless series of editorials about how we are just the worst).

This particular corker from Helen Rumbelow is specifically taking a dig at “generation snowflake”, who they deem to be the anti-thesis of the punkness of their youths, which largely consisted of riding their bicycles to find lakes to hold hands next to.

The Oz Not Done Patronising, Dubs Millennials Gen Of “Delicate Snowflakes”

Apparently being “generation snowflake” means telling your dad off for being naked (?):

“These days it can be hard to see teenage rebellion for what it is. It’s not wearing your hair long, because your headmaster does that. It’s not staying out all night or taking drugs – I mean, Mick Jagger has five grandchildren. It’s not nudity or music because, Dad, just put it away, OK, and give me your Spotify password. No it’s this: are you a little snowflake?”

Yep, love to tell my dad to put his dick away and confiscate his Spotify password, that’s what all us young people are about, for sure.

More bad news, I’ve been informed your parents hate you:

“Parents were appalled. They were desperate to be mates with their kids, but who was this priggish, alien species so brazenly ignoring the freedoms for which Mum and Dad had fought so hard? A bunch of bed-wetters, that’s who. Dangerous, anti-free speech, anti-democratic bed-wetters.”

It’s the typical bullshit usually plied against millennials: that we’re all anti-freedom because we’re trying to be less racist, less sexist and less a bunch of other things – essentially just trying to be a bit better to each other because we’re not the fucking assholes in the 1950s who were umm-ing and ahh-ing about whether black people should be able to vote.

While the boomers tended to be wildly progressive in the 60s and 70s, they’ve reached that point on the progressiveness treadmill where they’ve gone as far as they can and now young people are the devil himself for going further.

It’s kind of understandable, if you’d been wildly homophobic for 60 years and all of a sudden people started calling you an asshole for being homophobic, you’d probably be pretty upset.

The piece also included a shitty quiz so that you too can determine if you’re a part of “generation snowflake”. For example:

The Oz Not Done Patronising, Dubs Millennials Gen Of “Delicate Snowflakes”

Remember kids, racism is OK because there are millions of racists in the world. That’s how it works.

Sick of being blamed for your own behaviour? Don’t worry, they’re also blaming you for their behaviour:

The Oz Not Done Patronising, Dubs Millennials Gen Of “Delicate Snowflakes”

In the end, this inter-generational rivalry boils down to one thing: they’re jealous that it’s so easy for us to find porn.

Source: The Australian.

Photo: Getty Images / Ralf Hirschberger.