The Official Cronut Recipe Has Been Revealed, And It’s The Scariest Thing Ever

Can’t get to New York City? Starved for revolutionary gourmet treats in your neck of the woods? Got a set of kitchen skills that rates about a “Built my house out of croquembouches” on the culinary scale? Worry no more! Now you can put together your very own batch of world-famous Cronuts without having to leave the house (except to get all the ingredients and buy the ridiculous gear required to make them)!

New York master baker Dominique Ansel has released the official recipe for his game-changing creation that still commands a line hours long in NYC. But before you break out your ThermoMix and start setting up the camera for your next MasterChef audition tape, beware. The recipe is FREAKING RIDICULOUS.

Seriously. Ridiculous. Not just hard. It’s extreme. As in, “a legitimate threat to your mental health.”
How hard? For starters, it takes THREE DAYS to make. And this is a thing that essentially just involves flour, salt, sugar, yeast, eggs and butter, mind you.
Oh, and when we say it involves butter, it should be noted that the entire recipe calls for a grand total of 26 tablespoons of butter.
Twenty. Six. Tablespoons.
To beat all of that in successfully, it absolutely requires a stand mixer, and calls for the eventual pastries (once you get through two days of prep-work prior) to be fried in oil that is PRECISELY 175 degrees celsius – no more, no less. And all this to make a batch will produce around 8 or so Cronuts.
Though on paper you’d think it might be lunacy for a man to reveal the inner workings of his secret weapon, even if it is to promote the release of his new cookbook “Dominique Ansel: Secret Recipes.” But after looking at the recipe it’s kind of like Zeus opening the gates of Mount Olympus and letting anyone in so long as they can beat him in a fight. It’s Ansel drawing a line in the sand fifty feet wide and one hundred deep and daring anyone to cross.
It’s goddamned badass is what it is.
The whole recipe in full can be found via the Good Morning America website. If you manage to get to end of it without collapsing into a sobbing wreck, then you’ve probably found your project for the summer.
Meanwhile, I’ll be over here using my own culinary skills to their fullest extent.
Photo: Ari Perilstein via Getty Images.