The Mystery Shark Humper May Have Been ID-ed, Apparently Fears For His Life

A Florida reporter may hold the key to the most thrilling mystery of 2017: just who the hell is this nude bloke straddling a shark?

The pic has been frantically ping-ponging around the internet for a few days now, with several theories as to the portly man of mystery’s identity surfacing – namely that he’s University of Florida football coach Jim McElwain (nope), and that it’s sandwich chain owner Jimmy John Liautaud (also nope). 
Now David Pingalore, the sports anchor for a Florida TV station, says he has been contacted by someone who knows Mr McShark-lovin’
Sounds specious, I know, but Pingalore’s source provided photographic evidence of the man (apparently both clothed and unclothed), along with a name, a location and an occupation: Sean, New York state, and ex-cop (!).
Pingalore told the New York Daily News:
“This guy lives in upstate New York. That photo was taken two years ago off the shores of Long Island.”
Probably the best and weirdest part of this frankly incredible story is this: Pingalore is claiming that he tried to set up a meeting between Sharky Sean and McElwain (I assume because everyone deserves to meet their doppelganger?), but Seano got spooked. Why?

“The naked man wanted to meet Coach McElwain, then all of a sudden – an hour later – he flipped and got scared. The man that is naked on the shark is afraid for his life because he believes bounty hunters – I’m not making this up – and people with shark people, whatever, those people would be called.”
Your secret’s safe for now, Sean the Shark-o-sexual. For now

Source: New York Daily.
Image: Twitter.