Unless you’re in Darwin. Where the regattas are done with BEER CANS.
That’s right my friends, it is the wonderful month of July again and Territorians have been swilling canned beverages all through the wet season in preparation for this weekend’s annual Lions Club Beer Can Regatta in Darwin.
Come one, come all.
History
It’s a tradition dating groggily back to 1974, where the first race drew a crowd of 22,000 – half the population of Darwin at the time. It almost claimed the life of one its founders, Lutz Frankenfeld, with the unhappy marriage of a boat made from beer cans and a rigged-up outboard motor. Do not try at home, kids.
The first ’74 race. Source: Lions Club Facebook
Then Cyclone Tracy happened 6 months later. The clean-up crews, shocked by the humidity, drank endlessly and left legendary piles of discarded cans that could have trailed from Darwin to Katherine, 300km away. It’s been going ever since.
An entry into the ’84 race. Source: Lions Club Facebook
Entry and Rules
The race is simple: build a boat from empty beer or soft drink cans. And we mean, alotta cans.
Supplied: Paul Rich
Make sure it floats (not essential, but ideal). Arm yourself with ammunition (flour, milk, eggs, tomato sauce are popular projectile condiments). Recruit too many people to be on your boat. Race it in the Battle of Mindil to find the sunken treasure and return it to Lions Club president Des Gellert back on land.
Rules? Not many. “If it appears to be like a beer can boat, it is one,” says local legend Mick Keeley, with decades of experience under his belt. This guy, built the largest beer can boat ever to be in the race, more than likely to exist in the world, back in 2012. Goes by the name Extravacans.
Extravacans (Photo by William Nguyen Phuoc, supplied Mick Keeley)
Des remembers it well. Thirty-thousand beer cans crafted into 2 water-cutting hulls, 1.5 tonnes heavy, able to carry up to 100 people. It was a few boozy days not to remember.
Not long after he’d climbed aboard for a volunteer paddle, he had “a beer in one hand and a scotch in the other. Dangerous,” he says, sorry but not.
This Year …
When we got a hold of Mick, just under a week out from this year’s event, he was picking up the last parts for this year’s masterpiece vessel. Not as big as past efforts, but when you’ve only got 3 weeks up your sleeve …
“I’ve still got 1500 cans to go,” Mick says, of the 6500 can-strong ship. Thankfully he’s an old hand at this, and has honed his gluing and taping game to 600 cans a night. As a small consolation, he won’t need the cranes and semi-trailers or 3 days of assemblage this time.
The plan is for a Bali-esque, 5m x 3.6m catamaran that can be paddled in a lazy, boozy fashion across the water, until the race of the day arrives. There’ll be some bevvies as they watch the usual family chaos on the beach go down: tugs of war, thong tosses, beer can hat competitions. The usual.
“I’m not going to win, but I don’t care,” says Mick. He knows he’s a shoe-in for the best boat of the regatta. In any case, all the monies raised go to charity. Bless their beer-soaked hearts.
Where Mick has gone for mammothness and durability, he’s lost out a bit in the theme department. Most years there’ll be the odd pirate ship, Viking boat, London bus, harem lounge.
A playground for your imagination.
Construction Lowdown
Navy technician Paul Rich has entered the race most years, working slowly up from kiddies boats to a “local lizard” themed kayak in one 3900 can-large Pure Blonde Croc. “You just need a little time and effort, [and] vision for what you want,” he says sagely. “Sealing the cans and keeping them together is the secret. I’ve seen many boats fall apart. Construction is a group effort, whether it’s emptying the cans, collecting or helping to glue and attach, and then constructing your actual boat.”
We see this becoming slowly more achievable …
Supplied: Paul Rich
Mick has his own carefully honed techniques too. We don’t want to give too many of his secrets away, but let’s just say it involves 2 types of glue and a man-made, man-sized, esky. And no, it’s not for the ‘to-be-emptied‘ beer cans.
Alrighty, say we’re in Darwin this weekend and are ~keen~ to get amongst it – what can we do?
“You have to register boats usually before the day,” says Paul, “but they’re flexible. My daughter and my ex have made can hats and have won best hat. Something the tourists could make easily.”
Otherwise, there is much fun to be had just picking a spot on the sand watching some truly ‘Strayan shit go down. Forecast? Sunny, 32 mofo degrees.
But you know, maybe next year. Mick is keen. “We see one less boat every year,” he says sadly, pointing out his Extravacans (which was sold for $8000 big ones the following year and was made even BIGGER, into ‘Grogmonsta’) was a bit of a call to action to get more competitors turning out. Seems darnright un’Strayan not to.
Okay, so Extravacans may have cost about $15k. Yeesh. But a smaller vessel seems … manageable.
In any case, Mick’s squarely laid out his territory in the newly-minted ‘superboat’ category. This year’s entry will be just the inflatable dingy alongside the 3-story high, 9m out of the water, 200 people capacity BLINDER of a ship he dreams of in the future.
We trust your dreams are now just as big, dear readers.
You stay you, Darwin.
Keen to see more? Head down to Mindil Beach in Darwin from 10am – 5pm THIS SUNDAY 12th July to watch #straya unfold, in living form.
If you’re not up north and can’t get there stat, videographer David Joshua Ford shot this pretty awesome video a few years ago. Enjoy.
Images by Getty
