HOW LONG, DANIEL ANDREWS? HOW LONG MUST THE GOOD PEOPLE OF MELBOURNE LIVE IN FEAR?

The mighty beast known as the Montague Street Bridge has stalked the innocent citizens of this city for far too long; left unchecked to go about its blood-thirsty business without reprisal.

So brazen is this nightmarish monster from the pits of hell that it hides in plain sight, in broad daylight, in the same godforsaken spot; waiting menacingly for unsuspecting stray flies to fall into its web. But when it strikes, it does so with an almighty roar. A piercing, blood-curdling clatter as metal is gnarled and the bridge wantonly feasts on the lifeforce-sustaining goo of its victims inside.

And today? It took its latest victim. A poor, innocent delivery truck, who somehow missed the warning signs erected on either side of the bridge.

The bridge didn’t just scalp this one. It spat out its lifeless corpse like some sort of ghastly display of power, as if it flaunts the meagre safety measures implemented by an enfeebled Government unwilling, or perhaps too frightened, to take action and kill it off once and for all.

The bridge is all consuming, and all powerful. And it knows it would take a Government far braver than the one we have to stand up and rid the city of this accursed scourge once and for all.

Worst of all, it knows that such a Government might not actually be possible.

And it taunts us.

Hold your families close, dear friends. For the monster still lives.

Photo: Samcos73/Twitter.