Anyone who has been to the airport in the past forever knows there are a select handful of absolute certainties: shithouse traffic, people lining up ten minutes before boarding opens, and the startling image of De Rucci confronting you upon arrival.

Those of you a little at sea as to what we mean here, firstly, we envy you. And secondly, allow us to ruin your life by introducing you to the stabbing gaze of the nightmare maker himself, De Rucci.

The clinical, almost sterile face of the Chinese-based global bedding giant has greeted travellers at airports across the country for a fair handful of years now; his piercing gaze tearing holes through all who dare attempt to leave; the crisp, white, borderline medical attire that promises you you will go to sleep no matter what; the cold calculating gaze of a man who, for legal reasons I cannot say definitely collects skins, but he probably collects skins.

For years the billboards have remained up, untouched, unchallenged, mostly because there are few – if any – willing to make prolonged eye contact with them.

Today, however, things have gotten incredibly shady in a big hurry, thanks to local manufacturer Koala.

*inhales deeply* YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

The billboard, erected somewhere in Sydney, features the goofy, piss-taking face of one of Koala’s designers.

It’s beautiful. It’s magnificent. It’s unbelievably savage.

Ball’s in your court De Rooch, ya bloody Sleep Demon. Shots have officially been fired.

Image: Supplied