The latest chapter in the never-ending ‘millennial are the WORST!!!’ vibe that is absolutely defining the 2010s is this peak millennial-bashing job ad for a British theatre.
The Tea House Theatre in London is getting absolutely slammed online for a job ad that begins “Dear Millenials” (their spelling) and ends with asking for someone with “the absolute dogs in office skills” to apply.
“Dear Millenials,” it shouts, and again, we repeat the spelling is all on them.
“As a professional company in the arts industry for the best part of twenty years, grafting, scraping, cap in hand to angels and funding bodies and occasionally getting lucky. Surviving on our box office, breaking even and revelling in the success that in the real world that is. It saddens me to be putting this advert up for the third time in as many months.”
No, your eyes aren’t glazing over – that paragraph was hard to read because it doesn’t adhere to the rules of basic grammar.
“Are you just not taught anything about existing in the real world, where every penny counts. Did no one teach you that the end of your studies is the beginning of your education?”
There’s another paragraph here outlining the Tea House Theatre’s absolutely stellar job of, er, something (barely surviving as a business?) over the last five years, but god it’s dry. Moving on.
“One old lady used to run the whole of Mountview Academy [one of the UK’s leading drama schools] with an IBM computer,” it continued. “It shouldn’t be this hard.”
Hmmm. Apparently not.
FYI guys, we have never been run by ‘one old lady on an IBM computer’. We have never used IBM computers.
— Mountview LDN (@MountviewLDN) July 18, 2017
And finally, FINALLY we get to the job ad bit.
“We need a grafter, who can commit. The absolute dogs in office skills, the ability to run a paper filing system as well as a computerised one, the ability to complete and keep track of a huge to-do list, to make our office work, create and develop business management systems that help the business grow, giving space for more creative work to go ahead. To see where we are headed and realise that it is in your own hands how far you are able to go with us as we grow.
“We have not been impressed so far.”
It’s truly riveting stuff, and so brave to see a theatre take a stand against the tidal wave of lazy, entitled millennials who don’t even know how to file properly.
As the person who originally sent this job ad viral points out, maybe three people quitting in as many months says more about the company than it does the people??? Just a thought.
Check out this awful, patronising job ad for ‘millenials’ from @TeaHouseTheatre.
Maybe three quitters in three months says more about you? pic.twitter.com/STne8d9GDK— Chris Hemmings (@Hemmch) July 18, 2017
We don’t mean to alarm the Tea House Theatre, but this job ad might have damaged their prospects at hiring one of the ‘good’ millennials. It’s being savaged online.
Tea House Theatre: and before you go, you can write the job ad for your replacement
Ex-employee: sure*and send*
— Rebecca Usher (@Rebecca_Usher) July 18, 2017
Dear Tea House Theatre,
it’s never good to advertise that you’re entitled,patronising & abusive
Love Millennials xhttps://t.co/1xbqNQCqQC— Creative Electric//H (@Creativelectric) July 18, 2017
Tea House Theatre this morning pic.twitter.com/tlmnuVs1kn
— Ryan Devlin (@RyanDevlin_) July 18, 2017
The viral job ad even brought out at least one millennial who’d previously applied for a job there, and found the whole experience extraordinarily unprofessional.
1/ Actually, I interviewed for this role back in… Jan/Feb? The interviewer was eating breakfast during the interview, questioned whether
— Miranda Debenham (@mdebenham1) July 17, 2017
2/ I had got the experience I had because I am a woman, and therefore the diversity hire, and emphasised that he would shout at me a lot
— Miranda Debenham (@mdebenham1) July 17, 2017
3/ Seemed a decent enough space/cafe, but I wouldn’t have taken it if offered. As it was they never even deigned to decline me. 100% avoid.
— Miranda Debenham (@mdebenham1) July 17, 2017
I almost forgot, they also wanted shortlisted candidates to do 2-3 days work unpaid to see how they’d cope in the office *raised eyebrows*
— Miranda Debenham (@mdebenham1) July 17, 2017
And another Twitter user posted screenshots of a message that seems to allege the company fired its last office admin person because they literally underpaid him/her.
Omg omg just got this re: the job advert !!!!! pic.twitter.com/puiGBWBLRz
— Charlotte (@cgoodhart89) July 18, 2017
But I know. Lazy millennials, amirite?
Eventually, the Arts Council got wind of the insane job ad, and took the damn thing down.
We’re aware of a job that was posted on ArtsJobs that breached our terms (in this case targeting a specific age group) 1/2
— Arts Council England (@ace_national) July 18, 2017
Artsjobs is made up of user generated content and this job advert has now been removed 2/2
— Arts Council England (@ace_national) July 18, 2017
It probably won’t help with the Tea House Theatre’s staffing issue, but I imagine someone’s getting fired.
Photo: Tea House Theatre.
