If you ever needed evidence that private school kids probably need something better to do with their time and/or money, boy do we have the story for you! Students at Melbourne’s achingly elite Trinity Grammar are currently staging a protest over one of their teachers getting fired for giving a kid a haircut on student photo day.

Their protest? Folks, the kids are stoking the embers of revolution by… going to school in smart casual. At least they’re not stooping to the level of the riff raff, no sir. This rejection of the school uniform is still neat and tidy to a tee.

The kids are backed by their school captains, who sent out a letter of support:

We, along with the entire student cohort, demand his reinstatement. Out of respect for the appearance standards Brownie has always set and we have always followed, we will be adhering to a smart casual dress code.

So what actually happened? Beloved teacher Rohan Brown was sacked after he rigidly enforced the school’s hair policy, which dictates that hair must be above the collar and not too long over the eyes. Not keen to simply live and let live, Brown made it his mission to cut the kid’s fringe himself. Which is kind of odd, to be honest. Bit weird. But in the world of elite private schools maybe it’s fine. Hard to claim it’s a sackable offence, though.

The long-fringed lad’s family have said that they made up with Brown over the incident and did not call for him to be sacked, but he was nonetheless fired anyway.

A large meeting is scheduled for tonight featuring up to 2000 angry parents and alumni will call for the headmaster and school council to stand down over the incident. There is absolutely no force in nature more powerful than angry private school parents. They will destroy the world to ensure a good education for their precious son Bonathon if need be.

Fifty former captains and vice-captains of the school penned an open letter which basically was a salvo against political correctness for some reason:

In our view, it is patently clear that Rohan’s dismissal was not for any genuinely-held concern about community expectations, but rather because he was part of the ‘Old Guard’ that stood for the traditional values that the current executive rejects,” the signatories say.

This is profoundly sad, and it is apparent that under the current leadership, Trinity no longer promotes the qualities that we knew and loved.

In our view, it has shown that it is neither willing nor able to conduct itself in accordance with the school’s core values, and that it is grossly out of step with the wider school community.

‘Traditional values’, I see. On the one hand, it does seem like a severe punishment for a minor offence. On the other hand: what planet do these people live on?

Former Old Trinity Grammarians president Tim Sharp told The Australian that he hopes this meeting will be a catalyst for change:

We’re hoping for Rohan Brown to take over as interim headmaster until a suitable permanent headmaster is found. With Rohan Brown being sacked Thursday as the 152nd staff member to be moved on under the headmaster’s stewardship, we felt that we needed to act, that the school was just heading in such a poor direction that we needed to resort to this quite extraordinary ploy.

A bloody coup! Imagine the fired teacher riding back into Trinity on horseback, sword in hand, ready to claim the throne for himself. Absolutely inspiring, if you’re the kind of person who is inspired by polo, badminton and expensive knitwear.

There you go. Warriors of the revolution, each and every one of them.

Image: Getty Images