The Daily Tele Has Jumped The Shark W/ An Outrageously Extra Front Page

Let’s not pretend that the Daily Telegraph is usually a bastion of decorum and tastefulness – mostly it acts as a soap box from which Australia‘s most caffeinated culture warriors issue forth ominous portents of the rise of Islamic socialist millennial hipster feminism – but (at least most of the time) it does normally pretend to be a newspaper.
They’ve outdone themselves this time, though. Seemingly in an attempt to goad Turnbull, Abbott, and the Liberal Party at large into sorting their shit out to form a unified party, they’ve published a ~haunting~ look into the future where this looming schism led to a Labor victory.

In this terrifying glimpse into the year 2019, we see that Bill Shorten has become Prime Minister off the back of a Liberal loss thanks to “bitter infighting” in the party in 2017, and he’s now celebrating his first 100 days in office after delivering things that are, in reality, probably beyond the wildest dreams of Labor’s left-wing voters:
“Mr Shorten quickly moved to lift personal and company taxes, scrap negative gearing, introduce a 50 percent renewable energy target and force small businesses to pay more for hiring workers on Sundays.”
Oh no. Sounds awful. Sure hope none of those things happen.
In an even crazier piece of journalistic nonsense, the future Tele somehow predicts that the NSW Origin side is fixing to take out the series for 2019, in addition to their 2017 and 2018 ‘wins’. Lol get fucked.
Probably the most unlikely thing about this is the Tele having a front page that doesn’t have a weird shitty photoshop on it of something like the ABC logo combined with the ISIS flag.
Source and photo: Daily Telegraph.

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