Well this is… creative reasoning.
Late yesterday the yarn broke about how Samuel Johnson‘s Silver Logie statue had been nicked from the Brunswick Hotel where it was sitting in residence.
The pub, which is Johnson’s much beloved local, was allowing punters to hold and take a selfie with the statue – along with Johnson’s gold hat that was gifted to him by a now-famously pretty sozzled Molly Meldrum as he accepted his Gold Logie for portraying the music industry icon – in exchange for a donation to Johnson’s Love Your Sister cancer charity.
That was until Wednesday night, when some gronk swiped the statue and legged it straight into a waiting car, in a full-on heist of the thing right smack dab in the middle of Sydney Road.
Police later recovered the statue – which had been discarded in a golf course – and caught up with the twits responsible.
But get this, the bloke responsible for the theft has now claimed that he was simply doing a good deed, and that he pulled off the brazen theft in an act done “for charity.”
The man – identified only as Jake – called in to Triple M Hot Breakfast earlier this morning to explain his actions, and he firmly believes he was doing the right thing.
“The only reason why I did it was for charity. He advertised that if it goes missing, in two weeks, the insurance deal he cut with the owner was 50c from every single beer is going to go to the cancer foundation for a lifetime. He advertised, live on TV, anyone who comes and steal this Logie is going to do a great cause for cancer. So he pretty much baited it, I’m from Melbourne mate, so I had to step up. That was my cause for cancer, that’s why I did.”
“Now they are trying to throw if back in my face like I’m just a heartless thief. I knocked it off, I scoped it out, I went there three times, I spoke to the owner, I did what no one else can do in Melbourne. I did a good deed.”
Old mate went further, claiming that the pub owner confirmed that the theft scheme had been set up. On the second occasion he, along with accomplice “Darcy,” went into the Brunno for a look, he claims to have asked the bar owner outright “if this thing goes missing, is it true you have to pay 50 cents a beer for a lifetime [to charity]?” to which the owner allegedly responded “yes it’s true” before he whipped the statue out of Jake’s hands and called security on the would-be crims.
So the third attempt at the crime rolled around, and this time Jake was determined to not fail.
“We took off around the street, the vehicle was parked in a car park. I kept running, about four men were chasing us. Before we even get home, they must have got the numberplate, we’re getting messages from the police to ‘come back’. My mate is freaking out, I go to him, don’t worry about it man, I’ll wear whatever charge, I’m doing this for pride, for charity.”
He reportedly then held the Logie “ransom” until Sam Johnson called him personally…
“He was laughing, I asked him for 24-hours so I could go around show my mates. He was almost down for it.”
…threw the Logie statue into the golf course…
“[Because] everyone wanted to hold it.”
…and then phoned police to hand himself in.
There is… holy shit there’s a lot to process there.
Firstly, Samuel Johnson did reportedly tell pub staff that the bar would have to donate 50c per beer to the charity for life should the statue go missing during its residency.
But you’d bloody think that if that were actually the case then that’s not a call-to-arms for some dingus to swipe it and lob it into a golf course the instant the police got involved.
Christ alive. Just… just don’t swipe shit from pubs, yeah?
Except maybe the occasional pint glass.
Those are basically like golf tees.
Photo: Kristy Mayr/Instagram.