The Biggest, Bestest, Baddest Ways To Spend $70 Million


Everyone has dreamed about winning bucket-loads of cash, right? We’ve all had those moments where we’re at work, casually daydreaming about striking it rich – what you’d buy, what you’d do, where you’d go, who you’d spoil. But what if you won $70 million dollars? That is ~so~ much money, an overwhelming amount, tbh. Here at PEDESTRIAN.TV, we’ve teamed up with Powerball ahead of tonights $70 Million jackpot to come up with the best, most extravagant ways that you could breeze through $70 million.

1. Buy the Duke Group Archipelago Islands off the coast of Queensland.
Nothing says “I’m a baller” like the sentence “I’m having a party on my private island, would you like to come?”
Remaining funds: $58 million
2. Hire Justin Bieber, Coldplay, Adele, Rihanna, Katy Perry, Drake, Nicki Minaj and Usher to be the musical line-up of your party.
For the right price, you can hire pretty much any celeb you want, so with $70 million, go nuts! Get ’em all, hold your own festival, invite ya mates!
Cost: $4,150,000
Remaining funds: $53,850,000
3. Hire a top-of-the-line ghostwriter to pen your memoirs.
You just won the lottery. You’re a bajillionaire now, and people are interested in the stories of rich people, even if they’re egomaniacs like Jordan Belfort. Get amongst it.
Cost: $750,000
Remaining funds: $53,100,000
4. Hire a scriptwriter to adapt your memoirs for the big screen.
You’ve got cash to burn, so let’s get Iron Man 3 director Shane Black to adapt your life story to the big screen. He’s the highest paid scriptwriter in Hollywood, and was paid a record amount of $4 million for The Long Kiss Goodnight back in 1996.
Cost: $4,000,000
Remaining funds: $49,100,000
5. Buy an Oscar.
Go on, you deserve it. Treat yo’ self to Hollywood’s most prestigious award. Forbes reckons you can get one for $1.5 million. Spare change for you!

Cost: $1,500,000
Remaining funds: $47,600,000
6. Hire Leonardo DiCaprio to act in the movie about your life and taunt him with your Oscar.
Just imagine it, you know this would be a good time. It’s a pricy way to troll someone, though. Leo made $25 million for The Wolf of Wall Street, and we’re guessing he wouldn’t be keen to do anything for less.
Cost: $25,000,000
Remaining funds: $22,600,000
7. Buy Wu-Tang’s secret, one-of-a-kind album.
You can play it on your private island when there’s no one around to hear it.
Cost: $5,000,000
Remaining funds: $17,600,000
8. Buy a mansion on Sydney Harbour.
Well, you need somewhere to keep your Oscar, don’t you?
Cost: $9,000,000
Remaining funds: $8,600,000
9. Buy a 1955 Mercedes-Benz.
When Leo’s done acting out your life, you can drive him to the airport in this baby.
Cost: $6,000,000
Remaining funds: $2,600,000
10. Hire a glam squad for a year.
Kimmmy K pays $2,175 a week for her beauty regime, and you can too.
Cost: $793,875
Remaining funds: $1,806,125
11. Buy the *actual* Terminator.
In need of a great conversation starter for when you have guests visiting your mansion? Why not buy the Terminator?
Cost: $488,750
Remaining funds: $1,317,375
12. Buy 20 imaginary friends.
This is for when you get sick of all your IRL mates saying things like “did you really need to buy the Terminator?” and “why don’t you try investing some of that money?” Fuck them off, you can buy new friends. Imaginary friends. They won’t judge you. Pick them up on eBay for around $3k.
Cost: $60,000
Remaining funds: $1,257,375
13. Buy a quartz crystal bathtub.
When you need to unwind from a long day of hanging with your imaginary squad, you can take a dip in this glamorous bath.
Remaining funds: $361,982.40
14. Buy a ~Zombie Fortification Chamber~
You know. Just in case. Better safe than sorry, and all that.
Remaining funds: $251,756.09
15. Buy armour for your guinea pigs and get them to battle.
At $24.3k a suit, this is a very highbrow way to spend your time.
Cost: $48,600
Remaining funds: $203,156.09
16. Buy a hovercraft.
Travel in style between your private islands, you know?
Cost: $190,000
Remaining funds: $13,156
17. Buy a giant baby kite.
Make an impression at the beach this summer.
Cost: $5,990
Remaining funds: $7,166.09
18. Buy 14,332 Macca’s soft serve cones.
At 50 cents a pop, you can have ice cream every day for the next 39 years. If that’s not #goals, we don’t know what is.
Cost: $7,166
Remaining funds: $0.09
Andddddddddd you’re done. Buy your Powerball ticket here.

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