Ted Cruz Equated Net Neutrality To ‘Star Wars’ & Mark Hamill Baked Him

Twitter. Home of sociopaths, racists, and the genuinely insane, platform for journalists to engage in global pissing contests, and convenient forum for thunderously uncool people with a public profile to take feeble cracks at significantly more normal celebrities. And now also, thanks to the repeal of net neutrality in the US, a platform that some American users might foreseeably have to fork out extra cash to their ISP in order to access.

From that pile of deeply uncool public people came Ajit Pai, the President of the FCC and the man largely responsible for making the extremely bad ruling to dismantle net neutrality protections, in what’s essentially an egregious bowing to the Republican Party and a very public prioritising of corporate interests over public demand and the protection of the free exchange of information.

Pai released a staggeringly bad and cringeworthy video in which he twirled a fidget spinner, danced to Harlem Shakeand tried to convince everyone that removing net neutrality was totally hip and tubular. It sucked ass.

Very good person Mark Hamill took particular exception to Pai’s wielding of a lightsabre in the video (christ), and took a pointed shot at the extreme nerd on Twitter.

This, for whatever reason, caught the attention of the Patron Saint of Fucked Uncles, Ted Cruz.

Ignoring the fact that Cruz had the audacity to address Hamill as “Luke” (how fucking dare), equating supporting net neutrality to siding with the Dark Side is beyond bonkers. Holding Darth Vader up as a totalitarian Government Gollum is a bit fucking rich coming from a Republican showpony. And somehow insisting that turfing net neutrality renders the internet as “free” is, y’know, extremely wrong.

Also, he misspelled Hamill’s name.

Anyway, Skywalker returned serve.

Yes, yes. That’ll do nicely. It’s a bit of a cheap shot, sure. But Cruz doesn’t really demand much better.

My new theory? Not only is Ted Cruz the Zodiac Killer, but he’s also never once seen Star Wars.

Unforgivable conduct, TBH.