A New Poo Jogger Is Splattering Matter Over Sydney’s Inner West Like A Very Crappy Santa

It is happening again. Sydney has been gifted a new poo jogger, and they’re painting the town brown right under our noses. Maybe they’re taking advantage of the fact thousands of people in the state probably can’t smell shit right now (literally) but know that they exist and they’re causing fecal havoc in the inner west right now.

That’s right, the latest poo jogger to hit Sydney was found leaving a special Christmas pudding out the front of a house a couple of days after Santa had stopped by. The unsuspecting residents of the house immediately took to a local Facebook community group to call them out, and one Jessica (AKA @sademogirl69) brought the news to Twitter.

nature is healing! new poo jogger just dropped pic.twitter.com/aRD0vu5tWJ

— jessica (@sademogirl69) December 27, 2021

A new poo jogger! Sliding right in at the end of the year! What a treat.

I knew I had to find out more about this new “animal female jogger” who took the huge messy shit out the front of the offending house, so I put it to Jessica. What do we know? Where is this happening? How was the mess handled?

Jessica told PEDESTRIAN.TV the devastation of ass destruction occurred in Leichhardt, potentially near Marion Street, on that fateful day.

According to the comments on the post, the poo jogger allegedly was armed with bog roll, indicating that the strike was premeditated. Allegations the jogger knew what she was doing fly around like mad, as local detective scramble to pin down who did the poo.

Not just a couple of slices of paper to address her big sloppy mudpie, a whole roll of shit tickets. This person was ready to drop a load off at this house.

The person who was on the receiving end of the unfortunate splatter matter followed up with their plan of attack for the unwelcome turd at the front of their property, which has made me laugh even harder than the original turd.

The hubby (!) has to go to Bunnings (!!) to buy a spade (!!!) which they’re then going to try and incinerate (!!!!). What on earth, mate, just blast it away with the hose like any normal person would do. You don’t need to go and spend money on a special shit-shovelling spade just to get rid of the rancid Christmas crap piled outside your house.

Our latest poo jogger in Sydney was bequeathed with a new name in lightning speed, and shall henceforth be known as Betsy Bogtrotter, and a reward has been offered up for her identification.

I feel like we’re missing the most important part of this whole doo-doo debacle, which lies in the knowledge that the neighbour snapped a photo as she was crimping off a log. SHOW. US. THE. PHOTO.

But not like this person.

Never like this person.