It’s official: Pokémon Go has taken over every single one of our lives, and now our national landmarks.
The Sydney Opera House is legit putting out Pokémon lures for two hours next Monday afternoon, which will in turn lure all the Pokémon Trainers to the forecourt.
“So whether you’re desperately looking for that Squirtle or need 399 Magikarp to evolve, join us from 12pm–2pm this Monday 18th July for Pokémon Go at the Sydney Opera House,” the Facebook event says. At the very least, they clearly get how the game works.
They also understand its fallacies: “Unfortunately we cannot guarantee the game servers will stay alive, but we will continue to try to put lures out for this entire two-hour period.”
While this is a rather sweet and innocent way to connect with the community in what is prime water-type catching grounds, it marks the start of a deep, dark descent into Poké-branded hell.
Already the first ‘PokéPub‘ has hit Sydney (at the Abbotts Hotel in Waterloo) where as well as putting on a constant flow of Lures all week, they’re also putting on a Pokémon-themed menu: Piku-Chips ($4), Beef Burgémon ($12), Char’mander Grilled Steak ($14) and Hot Dogs with a Squirt-le of Tomato Sauce ($7). Mate do you want us to catch these Pokémon or eat them?
Personally, I’m all for boozing grounds putting out Pokémon lures, because it combines two of my favourite activities: drinking, and shirking adult responsibilities in favour of childhood obsessions.
But mark my words: the days before every shitty company desperate for some coverage starts getting in on the Pokémon game are sadly, extremely numbered.
The Sydney Opera House’s Pokémon event can be found here.