Buckle your seatbelts and hold on to that avocado toast friends, because it’s time for another batshit real estate yarn. Today we are venturing all the way to NSW’s St Peters. It’s much like the one in Vatican City except the houses don’t have toilets inside them. Well, at least this one doesn’t. I told you to buckle up.

Yep, just when you thought the housing market couldn’t get more insanely fucked, another house walks through the door with some glaring flaws, ready to take the crown.

This house in question sits on 92 Goodsell St in St Peters (which is pretty ironic if you ask me) and sold for a whopping $1,485,000, which is reportedly $235,000 over the reserve price.

bathroom
Image: Realestate.com

It’s been described as “tired-looking” and as having 60s and 70s fittings and walls, which you may think are chic, but I don’t think they’ve been implanted in a stylish way. Try dated, maybe.

This is the first time the two-bedroom home has been up for sale in approximately 70 years, which also tells you everything you need to know about how it looks inside. Oh, and there’s no interior bathroom. Yeah.

If you lived in this aged abode you’d have to use the dunny outside, which sits at the side of the house beyond a sheltered walkway. At least you won’t be drenched on your way there when it rains, right?

According to Realestate.com, the property had an opening bid of $1.1M, with bidders absolutely fanging for the property. Another friendly reminder that there’s no bathroom in the entire house. Millions of dollars. No bathroom. One outhouse. Many miseries.

house
Image: Realestate.com

“Properties like this always attract a lot of attention,” real estate agent Kate Ferrante told Realestate.com.

“Not being renovated means you can put your own mark on it.”

“There was space to extend, maybe add a room. You also needed to add in more windows.”

So essentially the property is a major fixer-upper. In fact, it’s estimated that the house would require a minimum $300,000 of work just to get it to modern house standards. And then of course you’d need to fork out quite a bit for anything else you wanted to add, like a toilet that doesn’t have a family of huntsmen living under the seat, for example.

Hell, guess I’m never buying a house.