A literal derelict pile of debris disguised as a terrace in Darlinghurst, Sydney, is listing for *checks notes* $1.6 million. At this point, I think it’s time we officially accept that our generation is only going to be able to afford to live in a portable bin.
Described as a “development application approved terrace” (which, frankly, is not what I’d want my future home to be called!) with “village heart”, this two-bedroom, one-bathroom Darlinghurst home at 463 Liverpool Street looks like the set of a new murder thriller or Resident Evil game. We’re not joking, it’s quite literally a pile of bricks and wood disguised as a home *and* costs $1.6 million??? Let’s get into it.
When you first approach the cursed residence, it looks like any other fairly rundown terrace in Sydney: a front fence depicted by peeling and decaying old paint, piles of rocks in the messy and unkempt front lawn, an overgrown tree that’s roots are no doubt right underneath the floorboards inside, and cracks on the sandstone brick walls. But, as you emerge into the house, you come to realise it’s, uh, a whole lot worse inside.
We’re talking: long creepy sandstone brick halls with uneven wooden scaffolds on the floor, exposed wires, wooden baseboards, sewage pipes and ceilings, and a dusty and undeniably cursed fireplace next to a murky, blueish-green brick wall that looks like mould.
A quick walk further into the ground floor of the cursed Darlinghurst property finds you in what they call the “kitchen” but really looks like the aftermath of a bombshell meets rat plague.
“But,” real estate agents will say to you, “everything is there for you at your disposal”.
There’s an uneven set of kitchen tiles on the wall, a mouldy kitchen bench, a rusty Victorian window that reeks of ghosts, and four squares of 1970s-like orange flower decor wallpaper above what was a sink that reads as “trying to make the best of a bad situation.”
Sadly, there are no pics of the bathroom in the ad but maybe that’s for the best.
Anyway, then, we get to the backyard. Oh my God, GUYS, the backyard. It’s so unbelievably and unimaginably cursed for something that’s worth close to two (2) million dollars. Overgrown with weeds and out of place brick flooring, it’s home to a shed with flaky yellow paint begging to be peeled off on the walls, a rusted tin roof, and bits of debris, drainpipes and trash on the floor.
Looking at these pics, you can really see why the ad leans into the fact it’s “DA-approved” (they mention it three times).
“This terrace has been a labour of love and a work in progress,” reads the Domain ad.
Labour. Of. Love.
Love to spend $1,600,000 on my first home and then go into mass debt, only to spend another million dollars of labour fixing it so it is actually liveable.
As writer Benjamin Law sarcastically put it best on Twitter: “Millennials, it’s simple. Work hard, save money, and you too can live the dream.”
You can check out the full decrepit real estate ad for the Darlinghurst terrace for yourself here. If you’re keen to live in a rusted pile of debris, the property is going on auction on the 19th of June.
