It’s quite nice being alive, isn’t it? It has its perks, the whole living thing — peanut butter sandwiches and sunny road trips and seeing your high school nemesis post weird rants on Facebook are all really lovely parts of being a human, but none of them would be possible if we lost the very planet we call home.
Every single day we can make choices that actively help or harm our only home in this cold universe. As a wise man once said: “Remember the three Rs — reduce, reuse, recycle. The power is yours”.
That wise man was Captain Planet, of course.
Recycling in the home is a great way to help the environment, but what about when we leave home? How can we change the naughty habits of our friends and coworkers?
Well, I can think of one method.
This is a lovely glass spray bottle I stole from my housemate. Apparently, her grandma used to use it to make her own cleaning spray (and also threaten my housemate with it if she was trying to eat cookie dough or indulge in other naughty child shenanigans).
Today, I brought that bottle into the Melbourne Pedestrian office to teach some of my cheeky workmates a lesson. The tradition of threatening evildoers lives on.
Let the games begin.
This is Louie. Louie sits next to me. Louie was unlucky in the office seating plan arrangements. Louie also enjoys bananas, but Louie doesn’t know that I enjoy justice… yet. Don’t worry Louie, I’m just testing out my aim. Please, carry on.
Well well well, what have we here? It seems we have an enviro-criminal on the loose. Somebody call 000. Actually, never mind. Time to take matters into my own hands.
That’ll teach him. Bananas can’t be recycled, you silly banana.
Soon after I spied more shenanigans, it seems a certain office rapscallion was attempting to recycle the dear Tom Gleeson office pillow.
Not on my watch, heathen. Pillows featuring the face of adored Australian comedian Tom Gleeson belong in the trash.
Just when I thought people were beginning to change their ways, I spotted another delinquent trying to drop a disposable vape into the big recycle bin.
Nice try, vermin, but not today.
Vapes, much like the common zebra, can’t be recycled. But here’s a nice guide on what to do with them instead.
The day wasn’t all bad. For the most part, my fellow coworkers were doing the right thing when it came to recycling. They were removing lids from bottles, rinsing out empty cans, and ensuring all food scraps were removed from pizza boxes before being tossed in.
Still, all this bin monitoring was getting a tad exhausting. Plus, I had actual work to do, real important stuff like ranking all the best alleyways to eat takeaway dim sims in Melbourne (you won’t believe number 3).
So, I passed the baton of law and justice to my friend Shantelle’s dog, Luna.
Luna, it’s your job to guard the bins. Go well, child, and remember all I taught you. You were born for this. Luna, you’re a star.
Anyway! It’s time for me to go because HR keeps calling me and apparently they want “a word”. Wonder what it’s about.
For more recycling tips, head over to the Containers for Change website for a guide on how to properly recycle your containers.