Spanish Historians Reckon They’ve Found The Actual Holy Grail

Have you heard the good news about Jesus? Someone’s found his cup (maybe)! A pair of Spanish historians – with the decidedly outstanding names Margarita Torres and José Ortega del Rio – have claimed to have located the cup allegedly used by allegedly Jesus at the alleged Last Supper. The pair have released a book, entitled “The Kings of the Grail” (why the hell does everything to do with history and mythology sound so inherently badass?) in which they claim that the grail is in a church in Léon, a small city in Northern Spain.

Through doing what Monty Python could not – how they managed to circumvent the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog without the aid of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch is beyond me – they have provided the biggest clue as to the whereabouts, and indeed existence, of the cup of Christ in quite some time. The onyx chalice, they claim, is concealed within another vessel known as the Chalice of Doña Urrica (again with the badass names) and has resided at Léon’s basilica of Saint Isidore since the 11th century.
But like most things to do with fabled historical relics from 2000 years ago, there’s a catch. They don’t actually know if the cup is physically there. And also they don’t know if the cup is actually real. And also they don’t know that, if it is, it ever physically touched the lips of JC himself. Partly because most documentation surrounding the whereabouts of the cup during the first 400 or so years after the Last Supper is basically non-existent. And partly because DNA or carbon testing can’t prove who touched it, and no amount of “CSI: Jerusalem”-ing will ever solve that riddle.
But we’re assuming nobody’s actually game enough to test the cup by drinking from it because… Y’know.
He chose… poorly
Photo: Ulet Ifansasti via Getty Images.