If you’ve got a penchant for gruesome zombie attacks that forewarn an imminent Zombie Apocalypse or just enjoy going on The Internet, you might be interested to know that another crazed zombie biting attack has happened in the universal centre for crazed zombie biting attacks, America – land of the free and home of the hungry.
News.com.au is reporting that police in Missouri are investigating an attack that took place overnight involving a woman who may have been on a synthetic drug marketed as ‘bath salts’ who then attacked her neighbour by biting his shoulder. “Do unto thy neighbour” said the Zombie Lady to The Bible.
What’s even more disconcerting about the whole incident is that the woman is still at large; but even more worrying than that is that everyone knows the shoulder is tough and stringy, and that she should have gone for the inner thigh.
Charles McBride, the bite-ee, told Kansas City TV that while he has seen his neighbour do some “crazy stuff” in her time this was definitely the weirdest. The biting was only matched by her behaviour immediately afterward, which saw her drop to all-fours and begin “digging in the ground, like a dog would.” As police arrived and tried to apprehend her, she began “kicking back at them” with dirt in her mouth. “Needs seasoning” said the Zombie Lady to Matt Preston.
The latest attack comes only weeks after the must-fucked up story this side of, well the last attack, in which police in Miami were forced to shoot 31 year-old Rudy Eugene for brutally eating the face of homeless sexagenarian Ronald Poppo, who is recovering well in hospital – or at least as well as someone can who has just had 65-80% (reports differ) of their face and eyeballs eaten. Then there was the other instance of a man who growled at police and tried to bite an officers hand, and the other guy who stabbed himself and threw his intestines at police, and the other guy who started viciously banging his head and growling in police custody…
That real life zombie shooter experience has never seemed more necessary than right now.
