Shorten Throws Tone On The Burner, Says He’s “Worse Than The Terminator”

You’ve probably heard of the impending apocalypse, but in case you’ve spent the last 14 hours with your fingers firmly jamming up your ear holes and a chorus of “I’M NO-O-OT LIIIISTENIIING” on repeat, we’re here to inform you that Tony Abbott will be re-contesting his seat of Warringah in the next federal election.

People are reacting accordingly: the public with horror, Eric Abetz with love, and Malcolm Turnbull with an “Ohhhh, for FUCK’S sake, Tony.”

It was Opposition Leader Bill Shorten, however, who really dug the knife in. When asked to comment on Abbott doing a Slim Shady, he drew on his limited pop culture knowledge to say / burn:

“As hard as Malcolm Turnbull tries to get rid of Tony Abbott, he just can’t. He’s worse than the Terminator, he just keeps coming back.”

Other possible metaphors Shorten could have used include “worse than herpes”, “worse than a cockroach infestation” and “worse than the decision to remake Labyrinth” (okay that last one doesn’t quite fit, but it sure fucking burns).
But no, we’ve got a Terminator reference here. You know, because Abbott’s worse than a character who was actually one of the good guys when he first returned in ‘Judgement Day‘, and worse than Arnold Schwarzenegger getting heaped with praise / good feels for returning to the franchise after a very successful run as the Governor of California.
So, anyway…

RENOMINATION FOR WARRINGAHAfter leaving the prime ministership, I said that I would spend some time talking to family,…

Posted by Tony Abbott on Sunday, 24 January 2016

Source: SMH.
Photo: Stefan Postles / Getty.