Honestly, there’s not much point in opining at any great length about what this story contains. You’ve all seen the headline. It’s straightforward. There’s no ugly tricks involved. We are simply here to alert you all to the presence of footage in which a seal slaps the absolute bejeezus out of a man in a kayak using an octopus. No sense beating around the bush any longer, really.
This has our SEAL of approval for the craziest thing you’re going to see today.
Watch as a seal slaps a kayaker with an octopus in New Zealand. #seal #octopus #wild #TakeMeToNewZealand pic.twitter.com/GRIDrF1X4w
— WeatherNation (@WeatherNation) September 26, 2018
Told you. Absolutely good as advertised.
If you, like us, refuse to get enough of that incredible piece of footage, it also exists in very handy GIF form for you to enjoy.
A seal slaps a man in the face with an octopus. The best headline you’ll see today. pic.twitter.com/6C2nST9Wix
— Matt Colville? (@mattcolville) September 26, 2018
POW. RIGHT IN THE KISSER.
Now if you’re still here and absolutely gagging for context: The incident was captured on video by Taiyo Masuda, who was on a kayaking trip out to New Zealand’s Kaikoura Island off the eastern coast of Auckland.
Several seals began circling around the pack of boats, including one that had captured the cephalopod in its mouth in an apparent attempt to chew its leg off. Instead of achieving that, however, all that resulted was painting the face of old mate with an eight-tentacled surprise.
That’s the story. That’s all there is to tell. And to those few of you who’ve actually read this far and aren’t instead watching the video on a glorious infinite loop, thanks for stopping by.
One more sentence here ought to pad out the word count to a point where our SEO filters think I’ve written enough, right?
There we go.