In news that is truly embarrassing, Scott Morrison is somehow now our longest running Prime Minister since John Howard.
Morrison has now been Australia’s Prime Minister for three years and four days, one day longer than Julia Guillard‘s time in office. So, to (dis)honour his surprisingly long reign, let’s take a stroll down memory lane and recall some of his most
iconic infuriating moments of leadership.
One of my earliest memories of Scott Morrison was when he placed a… quaint (read: ugly) little trophy shaped like a boat inscribed with the affirmation “I stopped these” on his desk, even though asylum seeker attempts to escape persecution to Australia by boat had not, in fact, stopped.
Scott Morrison's office features a trophy of a model migrant boat with the words 'I Stopped These' on it and a cabinet adorned with a Jesus shrine and a biblical proverb to 'Trust in the Lord.' https://t.co/UJ3a2qYmRg pic.twitter.com/wYcGGnO4Xv— SBS News (@SBSNews) September 19, 2018
Of course, making claims with no factual evidence will become part of our dear PM’s personal brand, which his marketing background keeps consistent.
Remember when he spent $185 million to re-open Christmas Island for no fucking reason? I’m sure the Biloela family do.
And don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten how Morrison brought a huge lump of coal in the parliament and proclaimed that it was nothing to be worried about, despite Australia’s rising emissions and our general journey towards irreversible climate change. Oh, and he lied about our emissions, too. Iconic.
Augh, I completely missed the three year anniversary of Scott Morrison's era-defining coal in parliament stunt— Ketan Joshi (@KetanJ0) February 10, 2020
Happy 3 years to the lump of coal. pic.twitter.com/9N3tB0JMgN
Or what about when he yeeted to Hawaii while the country was literally on fire? And of course, just all the other times afterwards when he disappeared in times of need.
Australians deserve answers.— Catherine King MP (@CatherineKingMP) August 23, 2021
Instead of explaining his COVID strategy, he literally ran from question time half an hour early. https://t.co/ZkuQExVo7N
He also implemented the Robodebt clusterfuck, didn’t buy enough vaccines for the Australian population to actually recover from the global COVID-19 pandemic, went to investigate his ancestry in the UK while other Aussies were barred from entering their own country, and allegedly faked making a home-made curry (though some would contest this one).
Probably my favourite Scott Morrison iconic moment though, was when he denied years old allegations of shitting himself at Engadine Maccas, completely unprompted, in a very irrelevant conversation about the pandemic.
Which, you know, is totally something someone who DID shit their pants at Engadine Macca’s after the Cronulla Sharks lost the NRL Grand Final in 1997 would do.
What a colourful resume of experiences. Let’s hope there isn’t more to add xoxo.