Prime Minister Scott Morrison has publicly addressed the allegation he once filled his underwear with turds at the Engadine McDonald’s, using last night’s speech at the Press Gallery’s Midwinter Ball to say we will never, ever know what happened that fateful night.

Sydney Morning Herald journo Latika Bourke, who was present at the Canberra fundraising event, tweeted that the Prime Minister addressed the shitty allegations early in his speech.

Notably, reference to the accusation did not make it in to her published report on the evening.

According to The Saturday Paper’s Karen Middleton, Morrison said he chose not to divulge more information on the 1997 accusation because the Midwinter Ball is now officially on the record.

It was not the only reference to the allegation during the evening. According to The Guardian’s Paul Karp, Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese took a somewhat more nuanced approach to the matter:

By all accounts, the remainder of the evening was quite dry.

Morrison reportedly made a misstep when he ribbed the journalists in the room over crackdowns on press freedom, saying “It’s great to have all the Canberra political journalists in the room tonight because it’s much easier to get your metadata that way.”

Good one, Scott.

Elsewhere, someone spent $10,200 at the evening’s charity auction for the opportunity to sink a beer with Morrison, while another anonymous bidder paid $5000 to play a round of tennis with Treasurer Josh Frydenberg. 

That’s a lot of money, but knowing Morrison seeks goodwill by talking about shitting himself is priceless.

Image: Tracey Nearmy / Matthew Horwood / Getty Images