Sure, all the new information about the new rules for COVID isolation and close contacts are very important bits of information right now, but Prime Minister Scott Morrison fully dropped the c-bomb in the middle of his presser this afternoon.
Is this not the news we’re here for? It’s what I’m here for. It’s absolutely what I’m here for in the gooch week between Christmas and the New Year.
Scott was waffling on about the fact that the Omicron variant is a “game-changer” and has made Australia change gears with the way we’re approaching the novel coronavirus when he got onto the big part of the show: the new definition of a close contact, and how long people with COVID need to isolate for.
But right at the crucial moment, when all eyes were on the big mahn himself, his mouth forsaketh him.
That’s right, ladles and jellybeans — Scott Morrison, the 30th Prime Minister of Australia, said “close cunt-act” on live, national TV.
This is what I’m here for. This is the shit I get out of bed for in the morning.
A person with the highest authority in the country just letting his brain fall down on live TV in front of everyone.
There’s no two ways around it — the man said “cunt” on national TV. You heard it, I heard it, my parents downstairs probably heard it after I replayed it at maximum volume eight times while laughing so hard I nearly hurt myself.
The bloke couldn’t even finish this absolute kent of a year without fumbling his way through one last speech, inadvertently giving himself yet another all-encapsulating nickname, and projecting him into a laughable meme once again.
Happy Gooch Week, my friends. Let us all enjoy the shit out of this and pray we don’t become close cuntacts anytime soon.