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Possibly the only vaguely relatable thing about Scott Morrison is that he’s a bit of an awkward unit. He never looks entirely comfortable anywhere, and doesn’t seem to have any actual hobbies or interests which aren’t confected to appeal to some imagined average Aussie voter. This is the case for a lot of politicians, sure, but Scotty is just not very good at hiding it. In this regard, he and Kevin Rudd are brothers in arms.

But even by Morrison’s lofty standard of social decrepitude, the photos of him from the G7 conference are amusing. Whereas the other world leaders approach one another with a certain chumminess, drawn together by a shared appreciation of being at the absolute tip of the global elite, Scott exudes the aura of a weird cousin at a house party, flitting between groups to which he does not belong and never will.

ffuark… why didn’t i check the facey attending list

Every single photo from this shoot seems to show Scott Morrison lingering on the outside of every social interaction, exuding enormous dill energy, like he’s about to step in with an overlong and irrelevant anecdote about a time he shat himself on the bus.

He’s even tried to pull the classic ‘If I play on my phone near people I will naturally be pulled into their conversations’ trick. It simply never works.

Bro… stop standing like that. You’re scaring the chicks.

Can we just get a zoom on that one, sorry?


Thank you, Scott, for representing the Nigels of our nation – the real silent Australians – on the world stage. It means a lot.

Image: Getty Images / AAP