Wherever Maury Povich is in the world, a potent tingle just ran down his spine as the most buck wild paternity case since Jon freakin’ Snow is afoot over in Spain and it features Salvador Dalí’s corpse, a tarot card reader, a clandestine love affair and something called a death mask. Shit’s lit.
In a story supremely befitting of the world’s most famous surrealist artist and performer, a Spanish judge has ordered the remains of Salvador Dalí, who carked it back in 1989, be exhumed for a paternity test at the behest of one Pilar Abel, a tarot card reader (!) who reckons her mum went to bonetown with Dalí in the 1950s.
Abel has been trying to establish herself as Dalí’s rightful heir for over a decade, having had previously unsuccessfully attempted to use DNA samples from his death mask, a hundo percent legit thing that exists and looks like utter nightmare fuel:
Whilst scraping Salvador’s death sweat from a super creepy mask, or whatever, turned up nada, Abel continues to go hard on her claims, pushing for full ownership over Dalí’s copyrights and the right to carry on his name, (which is definitely all worth a shit tonne), and so has thus turned to just straight up digging up his super dead body to sort it out.
Dalí is buried in a tomb in a crypt (because of course he is the kooky motherfucker), underneath the stage of the Dali Theatre and Museum in Figueres, Spain. For now at least, as sometime soon we’re digging old mate up to see if he is or is not the Salvador Dadí.
Something tells me the dead bastard would be absolutely loving the insanity of it all.
Photo: Library of Congress.