The Sydney Harbour Bridge became brunch this morning when a van full of salmon inexplicably spilled its load all over the road.

The caviarnage caused cars to stand still during everyone’s morning commute. 

Police were called to the site at 9am to direct traffic and, I guess, just kind of push the slimy carcasses off the edge and into the water? 

If this was the US maybe they would have been salvaged for a delicious dishwasher salmon dinner.

The mess was cleaned up before lunchtime, and the traffic flow was able to return to its normal snail pace. We can’t blame the salmon for trying to find a shortcut amirite!

The Live Traffic Sydney Twitter page first reported the incident and told motorists to allow extra time.

When the road was clear they tweeted: “UPDATE: Northbound traffic on the Sydney Harbour Bridge is now o-fish-ally back to normal following the earlier lost load.”

Bless.

On Guardian Australia the reporter running their live updates page reported the event as “Kafkaesque” in a very Guardianesque faux pas. Looks like someone got Franz Kafka, the Czech-born 20th century novelist known for his dark surrealism, confused with Haruki Murakami’s 2002 novel Kafka On The Shore, in which fish fall from the sky.

News.com.au went their typical sensationalist route and claimed that “some families may go without their Christmas salmon” due to this accident, but it was literally one van, calm down. There’s plenty of fish in the…farms. 

Honestly it’s been a big couple of months for salmon. We PEDESTRIAN.TV writers have covered Emily Mariko’s TikTok viral salmon rice bowl (read: white chick makes a hand roll into a paste), dishwasher salmon and now this and I never want to think about floppy pink things again.

Image: Getty Images / James Morgan