So Orange Is The New Black‘s second season is set to drop in one enormous, glorious block on Netflix tomorrow our time and that’s a pretty excellent thing because it’s a good show that you should find ways of watching. So how do you promote your awesome show? By breaking the god damned spirit of everyone who loves you, that’s how.
Just when we all thought it was safe to nick off for the long weekend and de-stress and just relax for a few days, out comes Netflix, ghost riding their whip down the road, plonking THIS SHIT in front of our noses and daring us to do nothing with it.
What exactly is *it*, you ask? It’s called Feisty Chicken. It’s an OITNB-themed version of Flappy Bird.
That’s it. That’s all it is. There’s nothing more to it. And I’m just sitting here minding my own business and suddenly that appears in front of me. OF COURSE I’M GOING TO FUCKING WELL PLAY IT.
The will-be-the-death-of-me game’s instructions read as follows: “She flew the coop a long time ago, but she’s always on the run, living off the land, living off her wits and hunted by the women of Litchfield. Guide Feisty Chicken through obstacles by tapping, clicking or hitting the spacebar.“
If you feel like you hate yourself an adequate amount and want to destroy hours of your life without ever getting a higher score than one, feel free to do so from this link.
Otherwise close your browser, back away from your computer, and get as far away from this godforsaken virus as you bloody well can.
Seriously. Run. Run for your life. Go get help.
