ROYAL MEETING UPDATE: Prince Philip Is Retiring ‘Cos Duh, He’s A Billion

Well, that was anticlimactic. That 3am emergency meeting called all of a sudden at Buckingham Palace, sending the British (and global) press into a frenzied lather trying to be the first to pick which of the many frail and elderly monarchs and monarch-adjacents had shuffled off this mortal coil was…
…actually just to let everyone know that Prince Philip is going to be staying in quite a bit more, thanks.

“His Royal Highness The Duke of Edinburgh has decided that he will no longer carry out public engagements from the autumn of this year. In taking this decision, The Duke has the full support of The Queen.

“Prince Philip will attend previously scheduled engagements between now and August, both individually and accompanying The Queen. Thereafter, The Duke will not be accepting new invitations for visits and engagements, although he may still choose to attend certain public events from time to time. 

“The Duke of Edinburgh is Patron, President or a member of over 780 organisations, with which he will continue to be associated, although he will no longer play an active role by attending engagements.

“Her Majesty will continue to carry out a full programme of official engagements with the support of members of the Royal Family.”
This announcement heralds what the British press are referring to as “a retirement from public life”, i.e. Prince Philip is about a billion years old (96), has had a recent spate of health scares (very bad colds), and is probably well and truly sick of rubbing shoulders with the peasantry.
The Queen and Prince have been slowly sidling away from their public duties for some time now, with Queen Liz handing over a bunch of her responsibilities to younger royals last year. Nevertheless, this is their biggest step back from public life so far.

We wish Phil all the best in his retired life, which will start later this year, and which we can only hope is full of sprightly smart-casual dressing, genially misplaced reading glasses, and teaching the Queen’s corgis to fart on command.
go, my gassy minions! go!
Source: Daily Telegraph.
Image: Getty / Jeff Spicer.

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