You know how carnival games and side-show alleys are all rigged to lose, but are enticing enough that suckers will throw themselves at it repeatedly, even though they know it’s utterly hopeless and failure is the only likely outcome?

That’s kinda what American Ninja Warrior is, except for really, really fit people.

There’s not a goddamned hope in hell of any human being successfully throwing themselves through the four-stage course and coming out victorious – what with obstacles like your Double Salmon Ladders and your Spider Walks and your Grip Hangs and whatnot.

And for seven seasons that was an absolutely true statement.

But not anymore, because some hyper-fit ridiculous person with the grip strength of a trash compactor managed to breeze through the whole thing and make it look like a walk in the park.

Pro-rock climber and bus boy Isaac Caldiero became the first person to successfully blitz all four stages of the American incarnation of the Ninja Warrior course, netting himself a cool US$1million prize in the process.

WOULD YOU JUST LOOK AT THE THINGS THIS SO-CALLED “MAN” IS ABLE TO DO.


NO. STOP THAT. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

The whole thing is a monumental feat of physical prowess, but that Cliffhanger transition at 2:18 is straight up fucked.

It’s shit like this that pushes fitspo all the way through to the other side and makes you want to do nothing but eat chips and die because what’s the fucking point of even trying.

Kudos, Isaac! You’re a dang freak.

via Variety.