Once you’re at the top there is only one way to go, and no one knows this better than a one hit wonder. Fame is fleeting and writing a top charting hit is like catching lightning in a bottle – that shit is hard to do twice. Today, I wish to look at the one hit wonders of the noughties and their follow up singles with my 2020 hindsight to see just how bad they were.
1. Crazy Town – Butterfly
Follow up single: Revolving Door.
If Limp Bizkit is the poor mans Rage Against The Machine, then Crazy Town is the bankrupt mans Limp Bizkit. Known for their rap / pop / punky / rock ting that was popping off in the 00’s for a while. We all know and love ‘Butterfly’, it’s our collective guilty pleasure song. Here is their follow up, ‘Revolving Door’.
You can see it’s a big budget video from the get go. They remind you who they are five seconds in with this scantily clad butterfly fairy, thoughtfully placed riding this bulldogs ass.
Wow. This song is so braggadocios that literally no one can relate to it, including the population of Crazytown. The band has two frontmen (very 00’s), the verse rapped by the one who looks suspiciously like the tattooist from Miami Ink’s verse is even worse than the verse from the blonde guy. Seriously unlikeable, and I’m VERY forgiving.
You could stop by baby, If you want to try your luck.
But don’t waste my time, Unless you’re down to fuck – Might set that as my Hinge auto reply.
Positives include a not terrible guitar riff (the guitarist seems to be embarrassed by the video and doesn’t look up once), and some stellar outfits by the video hoes (not derogatory, my dream is to be a video hoe). I would want to be at the wrap party for this video for sure.
Rating: Light 2/10
2. Uncle Kracker – Follow Me
Follow Up Single: Drift Away
‘Follow Me’ was the 00’s answer to me Bill Withers’ ‘Lean On Me’. You still know every lyric even though you haven’t heard it in two decades. I still shiver at the “Swim through your veins like a fish in the sea” lyric though.
Note at the time of publishing: Only re-listen to ‘Follow Me’ if you are totally sure you want to as I can guarantee it will remain in your head for an ungodly amount of time.
Here is the follow up.
I reckon this is a classic but maybe anything would sound like John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ following ‘Revolving Door’. The same sweet, country / folky vibe as ‘Follow Me’ just slightly less catchy. A very humble video, he plays a mechanic who enjoys singing at the open mic on a Friday night. I Love it. Call me Mrs Kracker from now on.
Rating: Strong 6/10
3. Vitamin C – Friends Forever (Graduation)
Follow Up Single: The Itch
Let’s see what the queen of the tear jerking graduation song followed up with.
If ‘Friends Forever’ was graduation, ‘The Itch’ was schoolies on the Gold Coast. A very sexy turn from ‘Friends Forever’, indeed. This video finds Vitamin C so horny that she is on a ledge of a building. I’ve only recently unlocked that level of horny during iso. The building ledge was a popular motif in the noughties music video but usually for angsty reasons, most notably Eminem and Evanescence.
This was a song that promoted a movie, (again very 00’s). It’s for the movie ‘Get Over It’ so a young Kirsten Dunst and Mila Kunis appear in the video. Music videos from the 2000’s had a real boner for featuring technology that had’t been invented yet. This video is no exception, but it does a pretty good job in predicting how many screens we love to stack in front of our face at once in 2020.
This song is a fucking shameless copy of Holly Valances‘s ‘Kiss Kiss’ though, can I get a witness?? The sexy laughs in the intro are great. Will get stuck in your head, but the quality of this is just a bit on the shit side.
Rating: strong 4/10.
4. Sisqo – The Thong Song
Follow Up Single: Incomplete
Sisqo was fighting an uphill battle from the moment he released ‘The Thong Song’. It’s simply too good, the video is one of the best ever made and the whole operation was so successful that it acted ultimately as a kiss of death. For this reason, I will go easy on Sisqo.
Sisqo has a great vocal range that he was able to show off singing ‘The Thong Song’, and he does here too. This song is also a follow up in the sense that it acts as a sequel to his first hit. He is saying that with all the success and popularity singing about dump-truck ass has given him, he is ultimately incomplete without his woman. Bless.
The song is a bit run of the mill, not memorable. The video is a pretty funny watch in 2020, at one point a lady disappears from a photograph as if she were Marty McFly. Like Vitamin C, he pivoted big time on his second single and I respect that. He is not just trying to make the same song over like Fetty Wap or Crazy Town. But at the end of the day I can see why it bombed (sorry Sisqo, Ily).
Rating: Strong 4/10.
Fun fact, remember the ‘Get Over It’ movie from Vitamin C’s song? Well have a gander at who is on the movie poster:
5. Teriyaki Boyz – Tokyo Drift
Follow Up Single: I Still Love H.E.R feat. KANYE WEST.
When I woke up this morning, I had no idea that I would be hearing a fucking Kanye West song from the Graduation era for the first time. Kanye is the greatest artist of our generation so I have high hopes for this song. It was also on an album titled ‘Beef Or Chicken’ which has only elevated my expectations higher.
Oh my god. This is so good. Has under a million views on Youtube, a fraction of ‘Tokyo Drift’. I actually cried when Kanye showed up in the video, truly. My boss asked me if I was okay and all I could say was “no”. I’m all about this. Sorry Uncle Kracker, this is taking the top spot from you.
Rating: Strong 10. Smashed it!
6. Wheatus – Teenage Dirtbag
Follow Up Single: Leroy
‘Teenage Dirtbag’ is such a great song. It has the ability to bring that unrequited love energy out that is buried in the depths of each and every soul. Like ‘The Thong Song’ unfortunately it was too damn successful for its own good and was a hard act to follow.
Opening lyric: He’s got the dirtiest shoes that I’ve ever seen, chews on a blunt, wipes his butt with a magazine. Although this lyric would be relevant in the covid times, I can’t keep help but think that was a scrapped lyric from ‘Teenage Dirtbag’. It also has the same DJ scratches where the swear words are meant to be. This is a classic tour video in which the solo aim is to show what a downright laff each member of the band is. It was shot in Melbourne too, would have been good exposure for Melbourne back in the day.
It’s really not great. Really forgettable. “Leroy is my mojo man” is the main chorus lyric. I’m not sure what that means, I’m not sure they do either.
Rating: Light 3/10.
7. Alien Ant Farm – Smooth Criminal
Follow Up Single: Movies
Alien Ant Farm’s rendition of ‘Smooth Criminal’ is even better than MJ’s and the video slaps as hard as the singer slaps his head into the camera. Top stuff. But if you ask me, covering a MJ song is a cheap ticket to quick success. Can they achieve the same success with an original? Well no obviously, the main giveaway being them being in this article.
Topsaroo video, like really good. Clearly a big budget. Lead singer looks hot with the reverse mohawk, not sure why it wasn’t more popular. Never too late @isoboyfriends.
I’m pretty sure Uncle Kracker is the guitarist for this band.
The song is super skippable. It didn’t reach great heights. Songs like this need really good and distracting music videos to help them chart, this one even has a full on skit halfway through. I know it sounds like I’m being harsh but there is a reason these are all one hit wonders. It’s not Crazy Town bad but it’s Mundane City for sure.
Rating: 3/10
8. The Androids – Do It With Madonna
Follow Up Single: Whole Lotta Love
Do It With Madonna. A catchy smash Aussie hit. Cute video too. All for it. I don’t remember their follow up so I’m excited for this.
The lyrics are trash. They are like when you are forced to write a poem in year two and your teacher won’t let you go to lunch until it’s done. It just has zero edge and zero creativity. With whatever pussy ‘Do It With Madonna’ scored the band members, this song surely dried them right up. This song is so shit-house that it belongs on one of those Jeep ads. For positives, let’s go with the cowboy hat the drummer wears in the video.
Rating: 1/10
Better to have one-hit-wondered that to never have hit at all though I say. All of these artists have ‘Drops Of Jupiter‘d but still have the potential to ‘Hey Soul Sister‘. You simply never know when they could make a comeback.
