A Queensland woman has lived my worst nightmare and found probably one of the most terrifying spiders in Australia nestled in a nook between her Woolworths grapes. No fucking thanks.
The woman took to Woolies’ Facebook to share her horrifying find with the type of urgency I expect I’d have if seeing the spider didn’t send me into cardiac arrest and kill me.
“WARNING: I just bought a punnet of black seedless grapes from the Redbank Plains (Mountainview) store and found a live redback spider in them,” she wrote alongside a truly blood-curdling picture of its phat ass.
“Tried to call the store multiple times and no one answered. (I don’t live nearby so I can’t just pop in).”
Look, I’m gonna be real. Spiders are my worst fear on this whole planet.
Dying alone? That’s fine.
Being forgotten with the turn of history? It happens to everyone.
Being murdered in my sleep? We all die eventually.
But a spider? A redback no less, which can kill you (though probably won’t) and in general is extremely venomous and painful if bitten by? In my FOOD?
Call an ambulance, it’s over for me.
People in the comments weren’t nearly as bothered though, for they are stronger than I.
“Wow shocking a bug/insect found in something that grows outdoors all exposed,” one sarcastic commenter wrote.
Look buddy, the spider can be in a completely normal and expected habitat and still be scary.
Another commenter who claimed to be a former Woolworths manager said this shit happens all the time, as you’d expect, because fruits are grown outside after all.
“The truth is this happens more than people think,” he wrote.
“I am a former produce manager at Woolworths and we would, on occasion, find spiders in the grapes. I once opened a box of bananas to find a live snake amongst them!!
“It’s nature and unfortunately it will happen. Woolies don’t however have enough time in the day for staff to completely go through everything. Back in my day we used to put signs on stock, such as grapes, telling people to use common sense and wash them before consuming to avoid instances such as this.”
Again, totally fair, still scary.
Especially because, admittedly, I’m sometimes a lazy gremlin in my depression era and I skip washing my grapes. I’m SORRY, okay? Some of us are gross!!!
Anyway, Woolworths has since responded to the woman and told her they were taking her report very seriously and would be in touch.
A spokesperson also told news.com.au that the supermarket would make sure “precautions were taken on-farm”.
Well, at least it’s not a mouse foetus.
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