Rent Across Australia Is At Record Highs So Brb, Seasoning My Avo Toast With My Tears

aussie rent prices soar. picture is of patrick star's house

You might want to step out onto the balcony for a breather because we’re about to get higher than we’ve ever been before. And no, I’m not talking about a nice kind of high. I’m talking about record-high rent prices across most of Australia. You hate to see it.

It almost feels like every week we are handed some cursed new information from the property gods at Domain. Every report it releases spells our impending doom. Every negative word about house prices that it has written, I have read against my holy will.

The last report it released told us that if you’re a single person looking to save for a house, it’ll take you 16 fkn years. Now in its Quarterly Rental Report, Domain would like all of us to know that renting a house in Australia has never been so shite. Please Do-masters, spare us.

In this new wretched report, Domain says that every city in Australia has reached a record high house rent price except for Perth and Darwin. But barely anyone lives in Perth or Darwin so basically, all of Australia is fucked.

Over the quarter, capital cities have seen a rise in rent prices. Sydney however did not increase its prices. It’s always been record-level fucked. Hate it here!

The combined median for house rent is now $508. Meanwhile, the combined median for unit rent is $448. Skyrockets in flight my friends, no afternoon delight to be had.

Canberra comes in as the most expensive state or territory with a heaping median house price of $700. Following the land of two citizens is Darwin at $610, Sydney at $600, Hobart at $520, Brisbane at $500, Perth at $480, Adelaide at $465 and Melbourne at $450.

Yes friends, Melbourne is the cheapest when it comes to house prices. Giddy up girlies we ride south at dawn.

The Domain report also kindly points out that unit rent price growth has doubled over the last quarter. This means units are gonna get real expensive real fast, increasing faster than house prices. Sucks to be one of those losers who want shelter over their heads. Oh wait, that’s fkn all of us.

If you need me I’m going to be openly sobbing onto an avocado toast. Tears are just as good as salt.