To Hell With Harry & Meghan, We’re Now Stanning Queen Liz & Guy The Beagle

Now that the grand passing spectacle of the Royal Wedding is over, we can return to our regularly scheduled program of demanding the immediate, lifelong imprisonment of all royals, and/or begrudgingly lauding Queen Elizabeth II for being a world leader in having no fucks to give about anything.

And of all the guests the holy nuptials between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle attracted from the vast many walks of celebrity life, somehow the most important one of all totally managed to slip through the media’s cracks: that of Guy, the Beagle.

The story goes that Markle, in her prior American life, had two rescue dogs. The first, a labrador-shepherd cross named Bogart who, sadly, had to remain in America with a friend of Markle’s after the poor bloke was deemed to be far too old to travel over to England.

The second, however, is a plucky beagle named Guy who did manage to follow Meghan across the pond and is now living life as the newest canine member of the Royal Family.

The Royals have taken a shine to the pooch too. Not just the ancillary, off-shoot, second-cousin-twice-removed who-gives-a-crap royals, either. I’m talking the tippy toppy cream of the crop Royals. The big boys.

In fact, such is the shine that the family’s taken to the dog, that the good boy got to ride with Queen Liz as preparations for the wedding at Windsor Castle were gearing up.

Wee Guy was spotted taking it all in while riding alongside the British Monarch on Friday. LOOK.


What’s even more remarkable is Guy’s rise from rags to literal riches.

In 2015, Guy was discovered in Kentucky in the woods and was taken in to a shelter. He was earmarked for euthanasia, but an Ontario, Canada-based charity called A Dog’s Dream Rescue took him in.

From there, he was taken to Canada for refuge and wound up in Toronto. Guy was then taken to a pet adoption event just outside the city at the same time that Suits was filming in the area. Markle attended the event, spotted the sniffy little dude, and took him in.

How’s that. 3 years from being alone and abandoned in the woods to riding around England with the bloody Queen.

Can we do away with the human line of succession and instil Guy as the heir apparent instead? Surely Charles and William won’t mind. How could you say no to him?