Well here’s some peak Friday news for you: Queensland Police have been forced to abandon a forensic investigation into a body found wrapped in a blanket near a major highway after discovering that it was, in actual fact, a very life-like doll.

At around 7am this morning, police were called to a trail off the Bruce Highway just south of Bowen, around halfway between Townsville and Mackay, where they located what was initially believed to be a body wrapped in a blanket.

A crime scene was quickly established and a full-scale death investigation was launched by police. At 10:45am, QLD Police’s official media channels confirmed the existence of the investigation, stating “A crime scene has been established with detectives and forensic officers commencing an investigation.”

At 2:41pm this afternoon, nearly four full hours following that first announcement, QLD Police media issued the following update:

“An investigation into reports of a body found south of Bowen earlier this morning has concluded. Police were called to reports of a body wrapped in a blanket on a trail off the Bruce Highway. Forensic officers commenced investigations which have concluded the body is a life-like replica doll of a human. The crime scene has been disbanded.”

Not only – NOT ONLY – did the body in the blanket turn out to be some sort of Real Doll, but it took Queensland Police literal hours to figure that out. That whole scenario covers the better part of a full day. From being called to the crime scene at around 7am, to Police media issuing the update at 2:41pm, at least seven hours and forty one minutes passed.

Queensland Police have now confirmed that “officers will continue investigations into the origins of the doll.”

Ya simply cannot ever make stuff like this up, I tell you what.