Get ready to feel absolutely horrified at your own wetness and odour over the coming week, Queenslanders, as the sun continues to wage its mighty war against the good people of this state.
The skilled weather nerds at the Bureau of Meteorology are predicting that the ridiculous heat felt through swathes of Queensland yesterday and today is set to continue for the rest of the week, with little relief to be gained from the nights, which will also be hotter and sweatier than an oversold rave (paraphrasing).
According to BoM, this heatwave will be the “most significant and widespread heatwave to affect Queensland this summer“, affecting pretty much everywhere that isn’t on the coast, and also some of the places on the coast. Temperatures so far have already been recorded as 11 degrees over the average for February, which might explain why going outside has been a torturous experience.
A spokesperson for Queensland Health told BoM that there is a risk of heatstroke and other heat-related illnesses in this weather, and that people need to watch the fuck out (paraphrasing):
Heat-related illness can be incredibly serious and even life-threatening, which is why it’s important to take the necessary precautions and know the warning signs. Symptoms can vary from person to person, but if someone you know if exhibiting symptoms such as an elevated body temperature, flushed dry skin, a rapid pulse, headache, disorientation or loss of consciousness, they might be suffering from a heat-related illnesses and you should call Triple Zero (000) immediately.
As always, these heatwaves can be fatal, so look after yourself: drink plenty of water, stay in the shade as much as possible, avoid doing anything particularly strenuous in the heat of the sun, have a few cold showers here and there to bring your body temperature back down, do not leave anything alive that you love (including yourself) in a car with the windows down. Ideally, you’d chuck a sickie and post up in a pub that has air conditioning, but if you can’t do that, maybe just work on the previous suggestions.
And remember: if you’re hot as shit, so are your pets. Keep ’em frosty.
