Things shaped like other things: sometimes, they are charming. Like Heston Blumenthal‘s medieval meat fruits, or erasers shaped like lunchboxes.
But other times, they simply shouldn’t be. This is one of those times.
In a sterling exemplar of Awful Taste But Great Execution, a British baker has created a life-size replica of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex out of sponge cake. It is… sinister at best.
I mean, look:
A baker from the West Midlands is showing her off life size cakes of Prince Harry & Meghan at the NEC laterpic.twitter.com/KGmrU1wUuy
— Global’s Newsroom (@GlobalsNewsroom) November 2, 2018
The slightly knobbly fondant visages of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle leer at you like something out of a low-budget “edgy” Hansel & Gretel reboot. Knowing that beneath the layers of cake lurks an eldritch skeleton does not improve the situation. And in the finished version, the cakemaker saw fit to adorn Harry with a nappy bag fanny pack.
Getty / MelMedia
Look into those eyes and tell me you can’t see your sugary doom, lurking malevolently behind all that marzipan and frosting.
The iced terror comes courtesy Lara Mason, who spent 250 hours and three hundred eggs crafting the royal couple for Cake International, the UK‘s premier baking and cake decorating show.
Mason has also taken it upon herself to make a cake version of the late Princess Diana and her two young sons, William and Harry, as well as a smaller Queen Elizabeth II in a fetching pink suit.
NAILED IT! There is an oversize cake depicting the late Princess Diana with her two sons Prince William and Prince Harry at the Cake International exhibition taking place in Birmingham in central England. There’s even a life-size cake Prince Harry & Meghan. @WTNH pic.twitter.com/9o1QyA9slZ
— Nancy Lynch (@nancylynchnews) November 2, 2018
https://twitter.com/Martin223/status/1058805094672748544
Watch the creation of the haunting confectionary in this vid straight from Lara Mason’s Facebook page, and all the best with sleeping tonight.