Predictions For The Block’s Auction Night Finale

Because we all adore to indulge in some wildly convoluted speculation at the end of a reality TV show, we’re taking a look at each couple and their apartment’s pros and cons, in an attempt to crown a likely winner who will soar above their reserve price and claim the most cash. If you haven’t watched the show, it’s expected to receive a huge flow of viewers after last week’s episode saw a show-stealing 1.548 million viewers tune in, so it’s likely someone will be waffling on about the winner tomorrow; now’s the time to read up:

On the first floor of the block we have Alisa & Lysandra, police officers from Adelaide and often the brunt of exhausting twin jokes, because yes, they have the exact same face, but surprisingly, they aren’t the exact same person. The twins consider that they’ve been “training for this their whole lives” and despite how heavily depressing that statement sounds, they’ve been the least frustrating pair to watch because, as sisters, they’re meant to tear each other apart on a daily basis, unlike the precious couples who thought they could go in to The Block without wanting a divorce/immediate break up as soon as the show ended—the silly fools. 

Anyway, Alisa and Lysandra have done exceedingly well with their ground floor apartment—which may prove to be a desirable position for potential buyers, amirite? (I have no idea.) They ‘won’ the most rooms throughout the season, winning 4 to every other couple’s 2. It would seem a bit too boring and expected if they did win, though they probably will.

Sexy bath in their impeccable master bedroom/dressing room. Plus they have a sauna in their main bathroom.

Meh kitchen.

This couple call themselves “quirky”, an adjective that really says nothing about a person except for guaranteeing that they are exactly not what the word may imply, but I guess The Block considers them to be vibrant because Matt has a piercing and some tattoos, or something. The engaged teammates have had their quarrelsome ups and downs throughout the show, and they had a rocky start by being the last couple to ‘win’ a room during the sixth week. 

It seems fairly unlikely that Kim & Matt will secure the highest bid come auction night, due to their apartment’s overall tone that reeks easily forgettable. Not necessarily bad, just not memorable, and wedged on the second floor which is neither Top Floor Glamorous or Bottom Floor Practical.

A striking foyer with lovely artwork, despite the pew-like chair beneath:

A bedroom with dreary curtains, abhorrent lighting and drab wallpaper, fit for a corpse:

The long time sweethearts from Melbourne had a terribly heartbreaking and emotional time during the series, as Bec’s mother tragically lost her battle with breast cancer during filming of the show. It shows such admirable resilience and strength that the couple could even bear to look at a camera, let alone spread their Reno-induced antics 24/7 after coming to terms with the news. The couple have maintained a clean, restrained aesthetic throughout and I’m thoroughly hoping that after an unspeakably rocky experience on The Block, they at least get to taste a sweet victory. 

Regardless of the team’s place in the competition, The Block likes to have its auction day ~bombshells~ so Bec, who says she’s keen to add to her large extended family with kids of her own, will probably announce that she’s pregnant, to steal the show so that everyone will be happy no matter what. She doesn’t even have to really be pregnant! A few seasons ago, Josh proposed to his then girlfriend Jenna on air before the auction, and everyone ate it up. Are they still married now? Who knows! Who cares! Perfect attention-grabbing, crowd-pleasing victory in the form of cash and delectable bragging rights.

Dressing room you could get lost in; wardrobe of dreams:

They created some awkward pillow fort for their guest bedroom, and added a wall of FAKE books:

The young, married couple from Sydney consider themselves the underdog of The Block, perhaps because of their style that they confusedly describe as “natural, raw, rustic with a modern twist” which you’ll find actually carries no meaning whatsoever.

The couple were short on room ‘wins’ save for their airy, light second bedroom which charmed the judges with a near perfect score of 29.5/30. Being on the fourth floor, Madi & Jarrod are high enough in the block for a lovely view, but just one step down from the Top floor which will naturally attract a higher reserve. They’re actually in a pretty great position, and they haven’t got anything totally offensive that would guarantee them out of the race, so they have a very strong chance of taking out the top spot.

Spacious, tasteful terrace with amazing vertical garden at the back. Maximises on lovely natural light and sweeping view.

Prison-like wiring above one of the beds:

Husband and wife duo Trixie and Johnno have lucked out with the top floor of the block, scoring the best view. This will either go two ways: a buyer will be so set on the position of the apartment that they’ll pay anything to get it, or: other buyers will choose one of the lower levels because it boasts practically the same essential features, just with a slightly lower view and a cheaper price. 

Nauseatingly, they describe their aesthetic as “eclectic and artistic”. It’s kind of neither, in the end, but it’s definitely not terrible. The auction will be emotional for them nonetheless, as you can assume they’ll bring their 3 kids in tow and be ecstatic at whatever cash they manage to roll in. The strength of the other apartments means that it’s unlikely T&J will take first place.

Sweet, bright bathroom details:

Didn’t maximise on having the best view on The Block in their terrace, it’s a bit dark:

So after all that, there’s not really a glaring contender for who will win tonight, though the twins Alisa and Lysandra seem to be touted as the favourite and expected winners of the night. In the end, the auction is actually taken to by real people who are, believe it or not, actually buying houses, and for some reason they don’t always care what bedspread a couple chose for their potential investment. I actually have no idea what these potential buyers will look for, though, because throughout the entire show, teary dramas over pillow cases has made me believe that people buy houses based on wallpaper and plush armchairs alone. Do they? I have a feeling they don’t. 

The winner may be crowned for some completely boring reason because X couple’s apartment had a better directional sun in the morning, or whatever real estate agent’s frequently laud. Then again, maybe some potential buyers will be sucked in to the show’s premise and will spend thousands on the basis of a single pot plant’s positioning. ¯_(- -)_/¯