You might think the life of a Hawaiian monk seal would be pretty easy. Hanging out on a beach, swimming about in some crystal water, eating some fish – pretty idyllic, right?
WRONG. If you were a Hawaiian monk seal, you’d have to contend with THIS: getting a god damn EEL stuck in your GOD DAMN NOSE.
“…in the nearly 40 years that we have been working to monitor and protect endangered Hawaiian monk seals, we have only started seeing “eels in noses” in the last few years.”
Pic by NOAA Fisheries/Brittany Dolan pic.twitter.com/CSgz923yyK
— Dustin Drankoski (@DownSmileyFace) December 6, 2018
Look at that seal. Have you ever seen a face that said “guess this is my life now lol” more than that stupid seal’s stupid face? Honestly, despite not being a seal and not having an eel currently lodged up my schnozz, I can truly empathise.
The pic comes courtesy of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration‘s Hawaiian Monk Seal Research program. They posted the extremely relatable image on their Facebook page, where it received more than 1,000 shares and a shitload of comments all asking the same question: what the fuck is going on here?
To which the NOAA basically said, “Dunno.”
Apparently the research org has only started seeing the eel-in-seal phenomenon within the last few years, despite having been researching the seals for more than four decades.
They’ve told the media they really have no idea what’s causing the spike in eel-related incidents.
We don’t know if this is just some strange statistical anomaly or something we will see more of in the future.
Fortunately, all the be-eeled seals they’ve spotted have been successfully de-eeled.
All of the seals that we have encountered in this slippery situation have been quickly caught by our response teams and the eel gently and successfully removed. All the seals were released and haven’t shown any issues from the incidents.
Which begs the question: are the seals shoving eels up there like… recreationally? Maybe they like being handled by the researchers. Maybe the eels secrete some kind of aquatic nose-beer analogy. Maybe the seals are just super dumb. Whatever’s going on, the internet fucken loves it.
“Monk seal researcher Charles Littnan … said this is the third or fourth case scientists have observed of a seal with an eel in its nose.” https://t.co/y6m6hCQMnV pic.twitter.com/md5UVD4Kbo
— Andrew Van Dam (@andrewvandam) December 6, 2018
“Perhaps, the seal was swallowing the eel and had to regurgitate it—the monk seal version of snorting milk up your nose. For now, the mechanism that leads to seals with eels up their noses is a mystery.” https://t.co/qY0JSIAnAd by @slaskow
— Brian Resnick (@B_resnick) December 6, 2018
https://twitter.com/joshgreenman/status/1070516292845740032
RIP eel, but how satisfying must it have been for the seal when it was pulled out? https://t.co/pVjtPETk6p
— Adam Banicki (@AdamBanicki) December 6, 2018
Shine on, you crazy eel-huffing seal diamonds. Never stop doing what you love: huffing eels.
