Wow, The ABS Guy Sure Took Four Thousand Years To Announce The Results

In case you missed history earlier today, Australia voted with a big resounding ‘YES’ to marriage equality, ending this absolute farce of a postal survey on a positive note.

But to get that result, we had to sit through an announcement from Australian Bureau of Statistics head statistician, David Kalisch. And christ on a fucking bike did he ever drag it out.

Never mind that the LGBTQI community has been on tenterhooks for months to find out whether Australia thinks they’re an equal citizen or not.

Never mind that many of the queer community who have campaigned tirelessly spent last night in a ball of anxious thoughts.

First, we simply must sit through a five-hour presentation (or thereabouts) on the ABS itself.

Folks were not happy about this short delay.

https://twitter.com/GordyPls/status/930571415845158913

https://twitter.com/callapilla/status/930571548947185664

https://twitter.com/anguslivingston/status/930571420504965120

BUT HE FINALLY CAME OUT AND SAID IT. 61.6% OF AUSTRALIANS VOTED YES.

Look, to be fair to Kalisch, he was probably forced to go through all that BS beforehand and was trying to hide his smile the whole time. Not everyone was mad at him, and it’s kind of important to acknowledge that.

https://twitter.com/millenialpinko/status/930574765974155264

https://twitter.com/iamdanicalani/status/930574499254222848

Heteros, your job today is to buy a queer a beer (or any beverage, alcohol or otherwise, of their choosing). Queer people, your only job is to demand hugs, celebrate, self-care, or do literally whatever the fuck else you want. (Also: demand heteros buy you beer. You’ve bloody well earned it.)

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