‘Point Break’ Remake Imminent – What Could Go Wrong?

After cutting her directorial teeth on Point Break (1991) it’s really no surprise that Kathryn Bigelow went on to become the first woman ever to win the Best Directing Oscar. Point Break is that good: Keanu Reeves in a wet suit. Patrick Swayzee out of a wet suit (RIP). The tagline: “100% pure adrenaline”. The 30 YEAR motherfucking STORM…?!?!

It’s just the kind of awesome-while-dangerously-straddling-terrible movie that could only have come out of the Nineties… But in keeping with Hollywood’s surge in remaking classic – or just financially successful – movies, Point Break is definitely getting remade and will be released in 2012.

One of the producers on board, Michael DeLuca, said: Point Break wasn’t just a film, it was a Zen meditation on testosterone fueled action and manhood in the late 20th century and we hope to create the same for the young 21st!,”

Um, guy, you definitely do NOT get it. Point Break is about watching Anthony Kiedis kick the shit out of someone, and ordering meatball subs on a stakeout, and hilariously obvious surfer-bro dialogue like: “You can’t just call a time out and paddle back in.”

Hollywood keeps confusing “we really like this movie” with “we want you to remake this movie”. Did you know that Bradley Cooper almost got cast in a remake of The Crow.

Only perfect casting can keep this remake from wiping out.