Allow me to preface this story by saying that there’s no way to verify its authenticity: you either believe it, or you don’t.
Chatting with @beauty_jackson & @LisaLisa1908 & I realized I have never told the story of the woman who told me about murdering her husband
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
I have a face that makes people tell me things. In another life I would have been that cop that gets all the confessions from people.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
Anyway this was back in 1999. I remember the year because I was super pregnant with kid #1. And crabby about not seeing my feet.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
Anyway I was on a CTA bus coming back from downtown & it got stuck in traffic. There was an accident on Michigan Ave I think, or something.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
I was sitting next to this older white woman & we started chatting. Mainly because kid #1 kept kicking & she was watching my stomach rumba
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
It was one of those very convivial stranger chats at first. Weather, questions about the baby, you know…strangers on a bus stuff.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
She asked about my husband & I was already pretty sure I had made a huge mistake in staying married so I think I said something about it
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
Nothing major, just that “Well we’re young & times are hard & I don’t know” kind of shruggy thing. And she got a faraway look in her eye
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
Now she looked like Whistler’s Grandma. Very sedate, white hair, little sweater set and a skirt kind of a grandma. Just adorable really.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
I’m trying to stuff my little emotional spill back into my face & apologizing for making her uncomfortable & she says “I had one like that”
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
“I was very young when I married him. Just barely 17. He was supposed to be 29. He wasn’t. He was 39. He was a liar.” pic.twitter.com/vo7aNYksbQ
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
There is nothing scarier than a sedate sweet faced grandma who says “He was a liar” like she’s chewing out a heart. NOTHING.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
So because I ain’t shit I settle in for this story with a “Well what happened?” & she’s like “Oh that was the one I poisoned.” pic.twitter.com/kaZKJmgN2c
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
Now the details get a little fuzzy because I got lightheaded & had to take some deep calming breaths. But here’s the rough outline okay?
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
They got married, she moved from her family’s farm to Chicago with him, right before WWII. And he abused her mercilessly.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
He beat her for everything, whether it was his dinner or his laundry or getting too good of a cut of meat at the butcher. Just awful.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
Meanwhile although he’s bigger & stronger than her he’s got a bad heart. How bad? No idea. But he had pills for it.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
And she’s convinced that she can’t stay, but she’s in a strange city & she’s never really worked except on a farm. So? She gardens a lot
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
He’s always worrying about money & she tries to make him happy with raising some chickens & whatever. None of it works.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
The butcher’s son is nice, always gives her a good cut of meat & he looks at her with kind eyes (her words) not the meanness of her husband
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
He’s also got a little insurance policy. Not a lot, he was too cheap for that. But enough that she would be okay. If he’d just die.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
He doesn’t, but he might kill her or at least she felt like he would at the time. And there’s her garden. She’s got jimson weed & nightshade
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
Not on purpose, but the yard was untended when she started gardening & weeding is a chore. Plus there’s some foxglove in the neighbor’s yard
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
Her one escape is reading when she can & she loves mysteries. So she starts trying to poison him. She didn’t kill him at first. He got sick
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
Sick was good, he stopped hitting her, but sick wasn’t enough really. Not when the butcher’s son is so nice. And her husband’s a liar.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
Now I do not know which thing killed him. Because she didn’t know. Her husband liked spicy food (what that means in white Midwest IDEK)
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
And the doctor kept saying he needed more vegetables so she put vegetables in his stew. Some leaves, maybe some mushrooms…in it went
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
Into a batch of stew that she made for him. Just for him. He loved it. Ate it all & the bread & she even gave him some hot tea. For sleep.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
After he was asleep she cleaned everything up. Went out, finished her weeding. Even helped the neighbor with hers. As you do.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
She had some plain bread & butter for dinner. Too tired to cook again don’t you know? And besides all the dishes were already clean.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
She didn’t even go into bed. He was sleeping so peaceful & why she just didn’t want to disturb him. She sat up & read. Dozed off in a chair
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
Got up the next morning & wouldn’t you know? She needed to get some things done around the house before he woke up. As you do.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
I’d estimate that she “left him to rest since he’d been feeling so poorly” for at least 15 hours. Then she went in to wake him.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
He was sleeping so hard & well…he had been sick for weeks. So she went on about her errands & chatting with the neighbors.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
And that house was sparkling clean by the time she checked on him again. With plenty of supplies laid in. As you do. He never woke up
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
She called the doctor, he came, told her that it was the long illness & the spicy food. Just wore out her husband’s heart. That was it.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
There was the small funeral of course, and her family came up for that. See how things work out? Her house was already set for a funeral.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
And after? She had some money. Enough to live on & to eventually she & that nice butcher’s boy started walking out together. After a time.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
And her parents had some animals & she had that money so…they had a good start for a marriage. Why her first husband had owned that house
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
They didn’t live in it, but they cleaned it up & rented it out & they had a good life. Until he died. Right after their 50th anniversary
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
He never raised a hand to her & they never had a moment of conflict that couldn’t be resolved with words. And he even cooked.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
They had kids & grandkids & she was the nicest old lady. But she poisoned the fuck out of that man & never regretted it.
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
She even gave me a quick little hug & called me a sweet girl to be so patient. Meanwhile I spent that whole story like: pic.twitter.com/NVL4wh1H0D
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
I’m assuming she’s dead now, but in case she isn’t I will say that he sounded like a man that needed killing. And she’s easily 98 so… pic.twitter.com/kqAtFynaMW
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
Now I do not think she killed her second husband, but as she rattled off names of kids & grandkids early on? Some were widows!
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
So, I have some questions that will forever be unanswered. But she hates liars & gamblers & men that hit. A lot. I almost asked for tips pic.twitter.com/y3VfntrOlA
— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) July 3, 2017
And that’s that. End of story.