Pierce Brosnan Is Goddamned Terrible At GoldenEye 64

Harking back to a much simpler time where to fix a malfunctioning game all you had to do was blow on it a bit, the Nintendo 64 to many represents a whimsical, joyous youth spent sprinting around an enclosed warehouse laying down proximity mines to blow 3 of your unsuspecting mates up with.
But how many of us can say that we’ve actually been able to play the all-time classic game GoldenEye 007 WITH James Freakin’ Bond himself? Jimmy Fallon now can, that rat bastard.
Pierce Brosnan stopped by The Tonight Show, which was all the encouragement Fallon needed to lay something of a trap to lure Pierce into fulfilling a lifelong dream. It should have been a glorious, life affirming moment. Except for the fact that Pierce Brosnan plays video games in precisely the manner you’d expect a 61 year-old man to – fucking terribly.

Blindly throwing out slaps? Running into walls in an open room? Getting taken out by a DD44? Come on, Pierce. Pierce please.
It’s probably unfair to be too critical of his under-the-pump gaming abilities, but you’d think that having your face on the front of a game would warrant at least a little bit of playtime – particularly if it’s one of the best and most popular games of all time.
But on the upside, on the same episode Tavi Gevinson spent a good couple of minutes about how much she loves Mario Kart 64 because Fuck Yeah Tavi Gevinson dot Tumblr dot Com.

Urge to drop all adult responsibility and spend the next 76 hours playing WWF No Mercy: Rising.