Controversial chef and anti-vax conspiracy theorist Pete Evans has today announced that he is entering politics and will run for the NSW Senate as part of The Great Australian Party because, sadly, there is no vaccine to cure stupid.
Evans was announced as a candidate in a statement from the party at approximately 1am on Friday, which apparently is peak viewing hours for whoever the heck would actually vote for Pete.
“Renowned Australian chef, restaurateur, author and television presenter, Pete Evans, has been approved to run as a NSW senate candidate for the Great Australian Party in the forthcoming federal election,” a statement from party leader and former One Nation senator Rod Culleton read.
“Pete is fully supportive of the GAP ethos, supporting restoration of the Commonwealth and the preservation of democracy in Australia.”
The Great Australian Party also asserted that Evans has been “resoundingly approved,” which is… well, something.
“Throughout his engagement with GAP’s national selection committee, Pete presented an unwavering commitment to advancing the freedoms of all Australians. As a result, he has been resoundingly approved.”
In news that you’d expect from a party that’s stoked to have Pete Evans joining them, GAP raved about his courage and determination in overcoming adversity. You simply cannot write this.
“Pete Evans has consistently demonstrated courage in exposing matters of public information and interest, provoking much-needed debate despite the personal cost to himself,” the statement read.
“Pete Evans has maintained his principles and inspired others in the face of uncommon adversity.”
At this point, I can only assume Evans’ policies would include a mandatory 30-minute session of butt-guzzling the sun and the installation of BioChargers in every household across the country.
If you’re wondering why you didn’t see Evans make a personal statement about his political candidacy on Facebook, that’s because his account was permanently banned last year after the platform finally got sick of his continual spread of harmful misinformation.
But hey, if Donald Trump has taught us anything, it’s that men who have been deemed unfit to use social media are perfectly fine and capable of holding high office.
