You know when it’s late at night and you get unreasonably jumpy doing even the most normal tasks because you think you’re seeing spiders, men or other dastardly creatures out of the corner of your eye? Well, this woman’s midnight paralysis demon ended up being a fuck-off-huge snake that she spotted watching her while she was in the fucking shower. Except it was real. NOPE.
The Perth woman was taking a shower at about 1.30am when she looked up and saw the snake chilling in the exhaust fan directly above her head, clearly enjoying a nice steaming after the heatwave taking over the state.
It’s at this point that my heart would stop and I’d go into cardiac arrest. And I actually LIKE snakes.
“She was pretty wound up when I was talking to her on the phone. She said, ‘Can you please come now and get this thing now?” Paul from Mad Pauly’s Reptile Removal told 6PR.
Paul initially thought the woman was mistaken and there was some other wiggly item in her fan but nope, upon arriving he was surprised to find that not only was it an actual snake, but one that certainly wasn’t local.
“It ended up being a Stimson’s python which is not native to the area,” he said.
Stimson’s pythons are Australian, and they’re found all over the continent, but they typically inhabit areas like rock outcrops and stony ranges, according to the Australian Museum. Not shower vents, that’s for sure.
It turns out the snake was actually someone’s cheeky escaped pet named Rufus. Rufus who was found in a roof. I adore.
Rufus, the pervy noodle, has since been returned to the owner and it turns out he actually managed to travel an entire kilometre to this woman’s home???
“He did well not to get eaten or run over,” Paul said.
Yeah. And the poor woman he scared did well not to faint, honestly. My heart is beating out of my chest and I wasn’t even there.
