In absolutely haunting footage for anyone with a peen and pair of hanging gonads, a teen in Perth has smashed his genitals into his bike like the nutcracker live on TV.
10 News reporter Anne-Maree Leonard was in the middle of delivering a live update in Belmont, Perth, regarding a factory fire that’s spread toxic fumes across the city when a boy was seen riding behind her in-shot.
Mere seconds later, the boy flew forward and appeared to have smacked his special bros against the front of his bike. Ouchie wowchie, that has gotta hurt.
The teen then leans forward, staggering back on his bike and grabbing his ~area~ in pain. As someone who’s had their nuts semi-cracked before, I can tell exactly what kind of noise he’s making here, even without hearing it in the video.
Another biker, assumedly his mate, then cycles past him as he’s still physically groaning in pain before he drags himself out of the shot with what little strength the poor guy has left. Truly, I feel for him.
The worst part here is that this basement accident was captured live on TV and that places like us are reporting on it (oopsie).
Dear kid, chin up. This will all blow over in the coming days. Hopefully, your injury does too.
Oh, what’s that? You wanna know about the big-ass factory fire in Perth? Oh, alright then.
*Puts on serious news presenter hat*
According to the ABC, the fire started in a 120-metre-long linen factory (oh Jesus) and caused neighbouring businesses to close up shop for the day. Emergency services declared a public health warning for anyone within 500m of the area and closed of roads nearby.
Per PerthNow, owners estimate the damage could cost them up to $10m. RIP to both this kid’s “wallet” and theirs, I guess.